Perhaps the most twisted plot of all time in my life is my sense of naivety. Where the heck did it go? I thought I lost it on a military base in New Jersey or in a courtroom claiming my last name once again. Honestly though, even the darkest moments of my life were pretty epic.
Maybe I became lost in all my tragedies because I stopped looking for the good in everything. I remember hearing that an optimist is foolish and I have definitely been a fool. I was happier being a fool than being who I am now. I think I know everything because if I know everything then nothing can hurt me.
Well, I hate to break it to my cynical self but I still get hurt. At least before, I could always laugh after or carry myself from one dark though to a happy one. Now, it's just me getting after myself because I should have known better! Since I know everything then I should have known that was going to happen!
Learn from me. The fact is, bad is inevitable. Whatever that bad may be, it always lingers and is aggressively awaiting a moment to steal your joy. Don't let it. Really...don't. How? I cannot answer that for everyone else but for me, it is embracing the things that make me happy, or actively fighting just as hard as the bad does. I really love dancing and I really do not look attractive doing it. I know City Girls just released the ultimate twerking video and wow I wish I had buns like that but...am I still gonna dance to it? You bet I am. There are some things that I have let people stop me from doing (that does not hurt me or anyone) and that means I have allowed them to steal my joy.
Does it bother my brother that I spend money on experiences instead of saving every possible penny I have ever made? Yes. Does it bother my father that I listen to rock music that involves screaming? Yes. Does it bother my mother that I like to wear hoops instead of Kendra Scott earrings? Yes.
Does anyone pick up on what I'm trying to throw out there? If I lived to make others happy then I would be miserable. Which I have been for some time.
My naivety is I like to work hard to go to see A Day to Remember in concert and maybe not have the most expensive car. My naivety is I can be a good daughter who also listens to "masculine" music. My naivety is I do not have to wear the trendiest earrings and still look cute. It's small and I hate having to defend it but people will always pick at you!
I hope to still believe in my own innocence and simpleness because life gets really complicated but my happiness should not be. The definition of naivety does say "unsophisticated," but I am sticking to innocence on this one.
I hope everyone finds that one thing that used to put a smile on their face.
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