Too many people tell me that their main goal in life is to be "happy". They want a job that will make them happy, a home that will make them happy, a significant other that will make them happy.
That all sounds nice, right?
It would be nice if life could be all sunshine and roses sometime in the near future, if everything would be perfect once you get that degree, that promotion, and find that special someone. Unfortunately, this is pretty much never the case.
Every triumph comes with its own set of challenges. Once you get your degree, you will have to navigate the working world. Once you fall in love, you will have to make sacrifices to maintain your relationship. Life isn't meant to be perfect all the time.
If you only search for this elusive idea of "happiness" you will spend your life disappointed. You will always think that the next thing is going to be better than your current situation. If you live like this, you will never learn how to appreciate the present.
Happiness is no more than one of many emotions. We are meant to feel them all. Life is cyclical. You will have good days and bad days no matter how picture perfect your life seems. You shouldn't spend your life just chasing good feelings, that is almost as hollow and shallow as chasing money or fame.
Instead of looking for a job that makes you happy, look for a job that makes an impact on the world. Look for a job that challenges you and makes you feel like you are making an impact.
Instead of looking for a perfect significant other to make you happy, focus on building yourself up to be the best version of yourself. Look for someone who appreciates you and can work through the bad times with you.
Instead of looking for material possessions and status symbols to make you happy, treat yourself to something nice occasionally and understand that the feeling we get from having a nice new thing is temporary.
Life isn't about being "happy". Instead of wishing you were happier, look for things that make you feel more fulfilled. Life is going to throw challenges and hardships at you no matter what. Fortunately, you get a little say in what these challenges are. A lot of life is choosing between two struggles. You can either go back to school and struggle with late nights studying, or you can stay at your unfulfilling job and deal with its unique set of challenges. You can either go on that vacation and have less money for this semester, or you can stay home and wonder what you missed out on. We are blessed to be able to have some say over what we will feel unhappy about.
When you think "happiness" is a goal in life, you end up feeling like a failure whenever you feel a negative emotion. This is so unhealthy. Its okay to feel sad, angry, stressed, and confused. Everyone does sometimes.
Stop chasing happiness, and learn to be grateful with what you have now. Appreciate the phase of life that you are in. Focus on personal growth, fulfilling experiences, and helping others. Remember that happiness is nothing more than an emotion.
