The question I probably get the most from cis people is "How do I be an ally?" While I certainly do not speak for all trans people, I thought it would be helpful to give my own answer to this question by listing several things cis people can do to be better allies.

1. Acknowledge the epidemic of violence faced by trans women of color

2015 and 2016 have been two of the deadliest years for trans women of color. This epidemic of violence shows no signs of stopping, yet so many people are silent about it. This is quite simply the biggest issue the trans community is facing right now and being silent about it is simply not acceptable.

2. Listen to trans people

If you are cis, you simply do not know what it is to be trans. So if you want to be an ally to trans people, the most important thing you can do is listen to our experiences so you can get a sense of the various issues trans people face.

3. Remember that ally is a verb not a noun

Calling yourself an ally is simply not enough. If you truly want to be an ally, you need to actually support and advocate for trans people. Occasionally posting about how you would be totally cool with using the bathroom with a trans person is not enough. To be an ally, you need to physically support trans liberation.

4. Call out transphobia from friends or family

Transphobia, transmisogyny especially, is still considered socially acceptable in many circles. I've seen several instances in which cis people who fashion themselves as allies are completely silent when their friends talk about how gross it would be to sleep with a "t*****."

5. Acknowledge your own transphobia

Transphobia is deeply ingrained in all of us from the moment we are born. Acknowledging that transphobia and working through it is essential for any potential cis ally. I find that too often cis people are fine with my existence, but get uncomfortable acknowledging their own role in maintaining cisnormativity.

6. Remember that being an ally does not make you immune from criticism

You are not owed anything for being an ally. Cis "allies" sometimes feel that because of their perceived allyship, the trans community should give them a pass when they say something transphobic. But just because you think you are an ally, that does not make your transphobia any less problematic.

7. Listen to trans people when you are called out for being transphobic

As a cis person, you do not experience transphobia. Trans people do, so we are much more familiar with it than you are. If you are called out for being transphobic, listen and use it as an experience to learn instead of being hostile.

8. Respect a trans person's chosen name and pronouns

Never ever refer to a trans person by their birth name or by pronouns they do not use. It does not matter how you feel about the person and it doesn't matter how long you knew the person before transition. Always respect a trans person's identity.

9. If you do misgender someone, apologize

Too often when cis people misgender me they act as if nothing happened. The thing is, misgendering hurts, so I get really annoyed when cis people ignore it. I've also had cis people laugh in my face when they misgender me and joke about how forgetful they are. This too is extremely hurtful as misgendering is something that should be taken seriously.

10. Don't overapologize for misgendering someone

Conversely, I've had cis people apologize endlessly for accidentally misgendering me. The thing is, overapologizing is just as uncomfortable as not apologizing. Mistakes happen, so there is no reason to keep reminding a trans person of a hurtful experience.

11. Don't tone police trans people

Trans oppression is very real, especially for trans folks of color. Getting angry at systems that promote transphobia and cissexism is natural and necessary. As a cis person, you should never condemn a trans person for not fitting into the margins of respectability.

12. Support the individual trans people in your life

Being a cis ally does not just mean fighting for trans liberation in a broad sense, but also supporting individual trans people. Being trans is really hard so any cis ally should always check in on their trans friends and support them in their endeavors.

13. Remember that it is not trans people's job to educate you

Trans people, like all marginalized people, get to choose how they use their voice and if they are unwilling to educate cis people that is their choice. In the age of the Internet, everyone has the ability to educate themselves. So if you want to be an ally, educating yourself is your own responsibility.

14. Stop saying "you're so brave"

Cis people who tell trans people how brave they are often have good intentions. However, that statement makes me and a lot of other trans people very uncomfortable. If you want to tell me I'm brave for the things I've accomplished in my life, that's fine, but if you're telling me I'm brave because I'm trans, that's just tokenization.

15. Be willing to date trans people

Not dating trans people is deeply transphobic. Trans people have no uniform physical characteristic so a blanket refusal to date all trans people is simply due to disgust of transness. If you are unwilling to date trans people, you are quite simply not an ally.