As I'm sitting here recovering from the stomach flu, I have discovered something interesting about this......illness. The timeline of the stomach flu is extremely like the timeline of a sporting event such as a football or a soccer game. Now, stay with me here! Clearly having the stomach flu is not the same as playing in a state title soccer game, but there are some extremely prevalent similarities.

1. 30 minutes before it hits (the pre-game)

When you have the flu, usually someone around you has had it recently (for me my brother had it), so you know there is a very plausible chance you will soon be sick as well. So about 30 minutes before the sickness hits, you can feel it coming and the worst part is there is absolutely nothing that you can do to stop it. So, you start to get nervous as you realize you're about to face some pretty hard times. This is essentially the pre-game stage. In a sporting event during the pre-game your nervous for the game that is about to ensue.... you know what is going to happen next and you know it's going to be a hard fought battle for victory.

2. Hours 1-8 (the first half)

This is the worst part of the flu. I sometimes also like to refer to it as the "I'm dying" time, because for the first 8 hours that's all I found myself saying. This is the point where the nerves from the pre-game begin to wear off and you truly settle into the game..... or the illness.

3. Nap time (half time)

After about 8 hours of feeling close to death, and the possibility of never returning to normalicy, you will eventually fall asleep. It may not be the best or the longest sleep of your life, but it offers a break from getting sick every fifteen minutes. The point of the flu when you can sleep, is the equivalent of half time. You just suffered through an extremely long first half, but you made it (barely) and you are finally rewarded with a break.

4. Hours 14-22 (the second half)

After you wake up, from your much needed sleep, the flu is far from done raging its evil head. This part is usually better than what you experienced before you slept because you now have a better grasp on what is happening to your body. It's also better because you know that you are nearing the end of this awful illness. The second half of a sporting event is usually better than the first. Your initial nerves have subsided and you have settled into your rhythm of the game. The end is near.

5. Hours 24+ (the post-game)

After the flu is over, you still see the residual effects and the toll it took on your body for hours if not days. You feel extremely weak and still may be unable to eat real food. After the game is over you are extremely fatigued. You may have lasting injuries and soreness for a couple days as a sign of the intense game that you just underwent. It is over but it the signs and symptoms may still take a couple of days to completely subside.