I've had social anxiety for as long as I can remember. When I was a little kid, I remember crying all the time, whether it was before a performance, in a restaurant, or even in school. It's taken therapy, a supportive family, and years of performing to get to where I am today; a music education major who's also part of a national sorority, dance organization, a cappella group, and so much more. I'm still not perfect, I shy out of many social situations due to anxiety, and the sad part is I know I can do better.
Anyone with social anxiety can understand how hard it is to maintain friendships when you're too scared to even ask people to hang out. We constantly struggle with the fact that there's a chance they might not want to hang out with us. So many thoughts go through our heads. That's why it's so hard for us to make friends. We can't trust people the same way as others can.
You're probably wondering how to make friends with someone who has social anxiety, and it's pretty easy actually. Just talk to us. We will seriously love you if you talk to us first. Sometimes, I might be the one to make the first move, but in most social situations, I'm too scared. Just talk to us first and we will warm up to you. Remind us every now and then that you enjoy our company. Otherwise, we'll pull away, scared that you don't want us around anymore.
People always ask me why I never talk. It's hard, especially because I'm an extrovert. That means I gain energy when I'm around people. If I'm not around people constantly, I get anxious and I start overthinking, making it harder and harder to talk to people. This has been an ongoing issue for me, especially in high school. I had this one math class at the end of the day and I sat by myself in the corner because I didn't know anyone. I could go into that class feeling great, but I would come out of that class every day feeling horrible. This still happens whenever I sit by myself for long periods of time. It's not healthy. I don't like sitting by myself. I don't think anyone with social anxiety does.
So please, if you see someone with social anxiety sitting alone, please talk to them or include them in what's going on. They'd be thrilled to join in on whatever it is and it will probably make their day.
Overall, I know I'm speaking for plenty of people right now when I say that social anxiety is a real thing and it affects so many lives. You would be surprised at how great these people are when you really get to know them. Open your mind and listen to what other people have to say. You'll learn a lot and become a better person in the long run.
