I let it happen and I let it go on too long. I didn't want to put an end to us. I wasn't ready, and apparently, neither were you.

When you fall for someone, you start to hope that they will be the one you spend the rest of your life with. After awhile, I realized that was not the case with us. As the walls started crumbling down, and my mind started drifting further and further away from you. I started to realize what we really were.

It was all good at first, and we truly believed we were in love... or you did. In the back of my mind I always knew that we weren't right for each other. We argued constantly and said sorry too much. We didn't want to let go because we had both become a sort of comfort cushion for one another. Would I ever find someone else? Could anyone ever know me the way you did? As these thoughts started drifting into my head, I just drifted further and further away from you, and from us.

But you were my best friend and I was yours, so how could I let you go... This took me months to finally figure out. I had to let you go because I did love you. If I didn't then I wouldn't even care. I had to let you go for both of us to be happy. I kept trying to tell you that I was becoming distant but you didn't want to hear or believe it. I wasn't happy and deep down neither were you. You insisted that we were but I knew it wasn't true. I could tell by the look in your eyes that we no longer had the feelings we once did.

I gave us more time, you asked me too. You asked me to give you a chance to fix things, and try and get us back to the way we were before. The thing you didn't know, was the more you wanted me back the less I wanted you.

By the time we finally got to the end of us, it wasn't hard. It wasn't hard for me to end it and you just took that as not caring, and that I never really cared. But I did care and I tried to tell you, I tried to explain my reasoning. In the days before I finally said goodbye for good, there was just too many tears to count between the both of us. I just couldn't cry anymore and my heart felt numb.

So yes, when we finally came to the end it was not hard. It was not hard for me but I knew it was for you. Knowing what I did to you is what did me in. As I watched you crumble and drink your pain away, my heart continued to break until there was nothing left. I didn't want you to get better with liquid courage but you said it gave you the strength and confidence to get over what we once were.

I was numb, I could not cry anymore, and I didn't know what to think of what would happen to my future. I was relieved, like a huge weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. The anxiety I previously had, had begun to melt away. I thought I would never get over you, but I have. I am glad to say that someone is now trying to mend my broken heart.

I still feel numb at times, but it doesn't last long. I think about you sometimes too and hope that you are doing well because I do care. Don't think you are the only one with a broken heart that needs repaired, I broke mine too.