I see tweets, quotes, and hear girls talk about the evil guy who broke their heart. That's how it's supposed to be, right? Meet, fall in love—he leaves her heartbroken. The guy is a villian in so many stories. I don't relate to any of them. There is no evil guy who cheated one me or left me without any warning or explanation—just the not-so-evil guy that I left.

Now I'm not saying I did anything awful to him, but I know I broke his heart. So, I want him to know that more than anything, I'm sorry.

I am so sorry.

We spent so much time together. There were so many laughs, smiles, tears, fights, and memories that will be locked into my mind for the rest of my life and I do not regret a single one of them. You were there for me and made me feel loved for a very long time. You contributed to the woman I am today and whether or not you agree that she's a good one, I am becoming more myself than I ever thought I could. From our first kiss to our last one, I loved you. I still and always will love you, but we only hurt each other. We got so comfortable with each other that we lost our filters around each other and said whatever came to mind and a lot of times—they were hurtful things. Our relationship was complicated from the start, and I think at first it made us feel alive because it was hard and boy did we put our all into it. We fought all the odds and jumped over every obstacle together. Until we stopped doing things together, until we stopped fighting for each other. It happened long before we ended, it was most of our relationship that we weren't on the same side anymore, and I hate that for us because more than anything I wanted us to make it.

But we couldn't.

I felt for so long like I was the only one fighting. The only one who cared. The only one that saw us crumbling and used all I had in me to hold up the walls we built. You would disagree and say you cared more than anything but like I always told you, actions speak louder than words. Your actions spoke volumes, and it just took me too long to see it. I wanted so bad to fix us that I was willing to sacrifice who I was and what I wanted for you and your priorities, which I was never one of. You put people and things before us, and it took you our entire relationship before you finally realized it.

It was too late.

I knew my feelings were changing, and I didn't know why and even more I didn't want them to. I tried so hard to talk myself out of how I was feeling, but I couldn't. You think I lied to you but I didn't. I just didn't know we were over. I didn't know my heart was done. After so long of feeling like you're not enough or you're the only one that cares, you just stop. You stop caring. You stop trying. You stop wanting. That's what I did—I stopped.

You're not a bad person.

To most girls, you are the ultimate boyfriend. You loved me unconditionally, you accepted me even when your friends and family didn't and you never shared your love with any other girls. You're not a bad person. You just aren't the person for me. Being without you has been many things. It's been so hard and eye-opening, but right. I have found myself again, and I have learned to love myself. That's more than I could have hoped for.

So, I'm sorry. I'm sorry you were heartbroken when I left, and I wish I could've avoided that part of this but I couldn't. I know you will find a girl that will be everything you ever wanted, and you will see why there is good in goodbye, even though it's hard to see now. Just know you were the biggest part of my life for so much of it, and I will never forget you. I hope one day you will think of me and remember the good times and be appreciative for the things our relationship taught you, I know that I am.