How To Not Deal With A Narcissist

How To Not Deal With A Narcissist

These are the main things you should not do when you come into contact with a narcissist.

1.) Do not allow yourself to become as negative as them.

The saying "Misery loves company" is complete truth. A narcissist is going to try to do everything in their power to try and make you become as judgemental and hateful as they are. They are convinced that they are on top and all else is below them, including you.

2.) Do not let them bring down your self-esteem.

For me, this was the most difficult one. Narcissists are known for needing to bring other people down in order to make themselves feel better about how shitty of a human being they really are. If you get too close to a narcissist it will not be long before you find yourself struggling to look in the mirror at yourself.

3.) Do not let them isolate you.

A narcissist needs to feel like they are the center of your world. They need to make sure that there is no one else in your life who could potentially be above them in your eyes. So as a result, you may find yourself feeling so incredibly alone while they have a number of friends.

4.) Do not let them play mind games with you.

Narcissists love to make you seem like the crazy and unstable one. To do this they will say one thing but then there next action completely contradicts what they said. You will be left wondering if your sanity is still intact. Trust me.

Cover Image Credit: Takao Numata via Pexels

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A New View Can Mean Better Work

Change can be so good.

Sometimes you have to have a new perspective in order to do something.

This happens to me all the time when it comes to schoolwork and writing. It is hard for me sometimes because I am an all-online student. This means that I do not go to a classroom. I sit in my spare bedroom, which I call my office. I sit at the same desk every day. The only perk is no one takes my "unassigned assigned" seat. But it can also get a little boring at times.

It is hard sometimes to have perspective on things or be able to be creative when you are sitting in the same place every day to do school. Change can be such a good thing.

My place to find a new perspective and get my creativity back is the local Starbucks. Usually, in the afternoons, it is pretty quiet and chill. This means I can come to get coffee, read my schoolwork, and study. Unlike my office, it is a totally new different view, even if I sit in the same three spots. Sometimes I get some conversation, other times, no one talks to me. I’m okay with either.

My mom was the one who actually gave me the idea to go out since I was getting tired of sitting at home, and when it got cold, I couldn't sit poolside. I’m glad she said something, and I am even more glad that I listened to her.

I do not have the chances to go to places that most students would go. I do not have a school library that I can sit in the back corner and just hammer down on work. I do not have empty classrooms either. So, this means I have to get creative sometimes. I have tried to go to different food places but sometimes I cannot even hear myself think.

So, whenever I want or need to go out, I always find myself in the middle of Kansas State’s campus at the Starbucks. I usually tend to have something Ohio University on so I get some interesting looks. I once had a girl ask me if I realized I was in Kansas not Ohio. Of course, that is a major flip from the Wizard of Oz questions I normally get. Sometimes I cannot hold my sarcasm, but most times I give them the friendly reminder that Fort Riley is right up the road and that is why I’m no longer in Ohio.

Either way, most of my credit for my articles and most of my school work goes to Starbucks and their always fast WiFi. While this does not help my coffee addiction at all, it gives me some great work. So here is to another semester spent at Starbucks, and my coffee budget being fully reinstated!

And a huge sorry to my husband, I’m gonna be smelling like coffee at least once a week, I love you!

Cover Image Credit: PEXELS

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Being An Empath Is Not Always Fun And Games

Really, it's exhausting most of the time.

Being an empath is something that I pride myself in. In case you the reader does not know, an empath is basically someone who is able to read and understand people just by watching their actions. We absorb these emotions, with our own moods becoming sour after conversing with someone who has had a bad day or becoming equally excited as your best friend after finding out that they got the job that they applied for. Being an empath is something that I truly appreciate about myself, as it helps me understand people and their situations without getting extremely nosy, and I can also come up with better ways to help others.

Sometimes though, being an empath is not all it is cracked up to be.

Have you ever had a best friend come crying to you, but cannot help them in any way? I have several friends who I cannot stand to see cry. Even the slightest tear has me crying right along with them, and I want to do anything I can to help them out and help them feel happy again. However, have you ever been in the situation where you cannot help your friend in any way? This happens to me especially with my friends back home while I am at school. There is nothing I can do but sit with them and feel the same sadness that they are feeling, even when I don’t have any reason to feel this way.

I get so invested in the feelings others that sometimes, I tend to get my emotions confused with the emotions of others. For example, a friend could be over in my room venting to me about some professor they are mad at, and then they will leave. Hours later, I will feel a surge of frustration from this situation, but I will be confused about why I feel this way. Later I will figure out it is leftover frustration from my friend's situation, but the unknown frustration is puzzling and confusing for however long it lasts.

It’s frustrating to just feel the emotions of others around you, and not to have any tangible cause for said feelings.

Have you ever gotten the sense when someone doesn’t like you, but can’t say anything to them about it because they don’t know that you know? This situation is honestly the worst. They may not deliberately be mean to your face; they take the passive route or are just really fake nice to you. You sense the disgust on their breath as they try to make small talk with you, and you know by the way they stare you down that honestly would rather be talking to a brick wall than you. You start to get this creepy-crawly feeling in your belly, and you start searching for a way out, but there is no escape. You yourself are stuck talking to this person because you read into emotions too much, and you can’t let this secret get out.

And you know what else is bad about that? After any of these sorts of interactions, I end up feeling more down on myself than I ever planned on being. Sure, these people have their rightful reasons for acting this way, but I shouldn’t have to feel so awful after they were trying their hardest to be nice to me. They are trying their hardest to put their differences aside and have a pleasant conversation with me, but all I can do is see past their small-talk and understand really how they feel.

As I have said before, I would not want to change who I am in hopes of feeling less of the negative energy of others. As much as it feels as if I am carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders sometimes, my empathetic side of myself is what propels my random acts of kindness and resilience, and that is something that I could not bear to part with.

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