What one views as an insecurity another may crave to have. Everybody is different. Every journey to find a state of self-love is different.

When I was in high school, I loved every part of my body. Whether I was bloated or feeling strong, I never thought negatively about my body. I was 18 and completely in love with every part of who I was - physically and mentally. After I graduated, I lost this intense love I had for my body. I started looking in the mirror to see someone who I did not recognize. I started to notice every wrinkle, every jiggle, every stretch mark. The photos on Instagram set an image in my head of what was beautiful, and in my eyes, I did not fit the mold.

I started to wear jeans to work in the middle of summer to cover my stretch marks, and three-quarter sleeves to compress my arms. I only posted photos that hid my lower body. I thought the world hated what I hated about my own body. I convinced myself I wasn't beautiful because I didn't look like the women in the magazines. I would avoid going to the mall to try on clothes because I would see only flaws staring back at me in the mirror. It was an unhealthy cycle I couldn't seem to shake. During the summer of 2016, I deleted my Instagram. I was embarrassed to post photos for my high school friends to see. When I looked in the mirror, I hated what I saw. The unhealthy view of myself only got worse during the two years I was attending community college. I was embarrassed to be me.

When I transferred to James Madison University in the Fall of 2016, the ongoing struggle with my body initially turned me away from formal recruitment. I was afraid to open myself up to a group of 200+ girls. Would they see me the way I see myself? Do I fit the mold?

Everyone I met urged me to go through formal recruitment. They said it would be fun. They didn’t know how hard it was for me to choose a pair of shorts to wear during the first round of recruitment. Throughout the entire process, I found myself pulling my shorts down in an attempt to hide the spots where my thighs rubbed together more than I would have liked them to. I felt hideous. I feared the following days of recruitment when my Rho Gamma recommended I wear a cute sundress. It took a lot for me to purchase sundresses over the summer, let alone wear one in front of a bunch of strangers. It became more and more difficult to leave my house with each passing day of recruitment.

The Theta Omicron chapter of Alpha Delta Pi at James Madison University changed my life and the way I viewed my body. Every one of my sisters welcomed me with overwhelming support and love. They were interested in the little things about me; what inspired me, what made me warm and happy on the inside. They made it mentally impossible to hate any part of myself because they loved every part of me. They still love me. And I love each and every one of them.

They filled my mind with love and happiness. It left no room for negativity. With each sister I met, the more and more I fell in love with myself. They loved me for me. They loved who I was on the inside, regardless of how I looked on the outside. My sisters love me unconditionally and are not afraid to show it… So why shouldn’t I love myself unconditionally?

I no longer feel hate towards the stretch marks on my thighs or the occasional jiggle of my tummy. I'm content with losing weight or gaining it. I am content with however I look because my sisters will love me no matter what. Alpha Delta Pi helped me rediscover my self-worth, and I am a stronger woman because of it.

Joining a sorority is an extremely special moment for so many girls, but mine was special for a unique reason; Alpha Delta Pi taught me to how to love myself again.