Relationships have always been terrifying to me. I’ve never found myself in good relationships. Most of them were short, six weeks or less. Most of them left behind sour memories which made even thinking of dating again out of the question. However, in the spring of 2014, I decided to do the impossible. I did some searching online, asked a bunch of people questions and settled on a startling decision. I was going to make an account on an online dating site. I spent hours picking out the right pictures and making sure all the information I was posting was accurate and thoroughly described me as a person. Within hours I was starting to get messages from men all over the state. While a few were nice messages, a lot of them turned out to be propositions for hooking up. I had joined this site in hopes of finding a man to date, not a boy who wanted a friend with benefits.
After a few months of the same messages over and over again, I decided online dating wasn’t for me. I stopped logging on and I went back to my normal life. In January of 2015, I logged on again. I was ready to try to see if this would work again. My friends and family told me that it was a bad idea and that I would face the same encounters I had before. For the most part, that was true. I wasn’t able to find anyone who seemed to spark my interest or share the same passions I had. This process was extremely discouraging and I wondered if I would ever be able to find a good guy. And then it happened.
I received a message from a guy and immediately went to look at his profile. He was a little bit younger than me, which at first I wasn’t sure about, he was tall and he loved music. I quickly responded to the message. We talked on and off for about two weeks before I finally decided to step it up. I took a risk and gave him my number in hopes that he was as interested in me as I was in him. I waited anxiously for any text from him. A couple hours went by and I was worried that I had tried to move too fast. Later that night, a text came through. We talked a lot more over text than we had online. It was a faster and easier method to be able to get to know one another.
After a few more days of talking, we decided to meet for the first time. Of course, we lived about two hours away from each other. Freeport seemed like a good place to meet up and it was decided that April 2 would be our first date. I was beyond anxious for the few days leading up to the date. I couldn’t sit still. I was scared that I wouldn’t be able to impress this guy. Finally April 2 rolled around. I drove down to Freeport and sat in a parking lot waiting. I was early, I’m always early. I was worried about what would happen if this guy didn’t show up. This was a feeling that pitted itself deep inside me and churned my stomach. There was no way I would admit to anyone that I had been stood up. A half hour went by before I finally decided to get out of my car and walk around. I started towards the mall strip in Freeport. As I ascended the stairs, a guy walked out of the parking garage. I nearly ran into him head on. He looked me up and down. He asked if I was Jinni. This was perhaps the most embarrassing thing that could have happened to me. I nearly trampled the guy I was meeting for a date. I nodded and I could feel my cheeks flushing.
How our first date went isn’t what’s important about the message I’m trying to convey. Online dating has a stigma to it. People think it’s scary, unsafe and unappealing. I was scared to try it. There were certainly times when creepy men made comments that made me uncomfortable. And I definitely didn’t tell anyone I was using Plenty of Fish to make my love life better. It’s been over a year since my first date with the guy I met on a dating site. We celebrated our one-year anniversary a couple weeks ago. We are going to be moving in with each other in a few weeks. We have talked about a future together.
If someone had told me that I would meet the most amazing man on a dating site, I would have laughed at them. I would have told them that no one really finds the love of their life on a dating website. But now I am here to advocate the opposite. Online dating can be scary. You need to be careful who you choose to meet. Always meet in public places just to be safe. Sometimes all it takes is a little courage to find your soulmate.
