Let me start with a few statistics.
In the world, there are 2,092,545,939 adult men. From ages 18 to 35, there are 602,813,956 men. In the US alone, there are approximately 159,450,378 men. From ages 18 to 35 in the US, there are 35,433,417 men. Then you can go into what percentage are gay or straight. Let’s say, arbitrarily, 27,260,050 straight men. That is still a pretty big pool of men ready to date a woman. Finding the right fish in the sea, "the one," is inevitable.
My first boyfriend was in third grade. I was skipping around the playground trying to act cool and not trip over my light up tennis shoes. He was running around with his friends playing basketball or tag, trying to impress all the good lookin' gals outside as well. I had such a major crush on him. I recently pulled out a journal I wrote in at the time, and I had his name written all over it with hearts and stars. I was so infatuated with him. From my diary, I could barely breathe if I wasn't around him (how lame does that sound). This is a direct quote, "Oh my goodness, *insert name* is so hot and so sexy and I cannot wait until I see him this weekend. I am going to wear my mini-skirt (yes, this was such a big deal in the good ole days) so he sees how good I look." I did not have a date with him or anything. This was just my figure of imagination that I would see him at the movies or something. Embarrassing.
Back to the playground. Finally, I saw him running in my direction, and all I could think was, "Yes! This is my chance! Trip him or something so he notices you!" I also need to preface, we never spoke before. We had a "hello" or a casual smile down the hallway but no real conversation. He was still, of course, my boyfriend.
He was galloping towards me with his perfect hair blowing in the wind and stopped right before me. He pushed me to the ground and ran away. My first reaction was "What the heck just happened? Jerk." Then I thought, why would he push me down rather than my other friends I was talking to? This was a sign he had a major crush on me. He wanted to get my attention, so he pushed me. Oh my! I was in love! I knew from that moment, we were going to be together forever and he was the one.
We never spoke again after that, naturally. I still wrote about him in my journal, but I think he changed schools or something. Boys still had cooties back then anyway. Who wanted to get those nasty things at 9 years old? I sure didn’t. I then proceeded to have other relationships along the way. My first serious boyfriend (maybe not serious in the sense of today, but in 8th grade, it was lit) was when I was 12. Sounds so stupid to say out loud, but I was so in love with him. We dated for about a year, maybe a little more than a year. I for sure thought he was the one. We talked about marriage, kids, our future jobs, where we are going to buy a house. Let me repeat myself… I WAS 12 YEARS OLD. What the heck was I thinking?
I furthered my dating career with two or three other "serious" relationships. I had a brief love of my life who lived in Las Vegas while I was in Houston, TX. We saw each other twice in the two years we were dating and thought we were going to get married… HA. Other "loves" were a few months of dating, and all talked some really big game. It was a never ending cycle of "Oh, we are going to be together forever!" then "Hey, Korelle, this isn't working out" or "I decided to screw your friend." There were definitely some relationships where I broke it off. As I was getting older, I (hope at least) got a little wiser. I got pickier with my selections. I loved the idea of a boyfriend so I held my ground, but then there would just be some days he would push the wrong buttons. POOF, he was out of there.
This is for the girl who is settling for less than she deserves. Some of you will have many relationships in life. Some of you will meet that one person that you’ve been together since you were 12 years old. Wherever life has taken you, you are right where you belong. Everything happens for a reason.
For those with a new guy every other week, you are still young so do you! Do not think or let anyone else tell you there is something wrong with that. Go have fun! Talk to multiple guys at one time. Who cares? As long as no one is getting hurt, everything is okay. You have plenty of years to fight with your husband over Desperate Housewives or the Packers game, wipe a baby's behind and accidentally get some poop on your new sweater, and buy over-priced vegetables at Whole Foods. You can hold off for a few more years.
Are you waiting for "the one" to come along? Are you wanting to settle down? Most importantly, think about yourself and focus on what YOU need to do and where YOU want to go in life. The right one will come along and fall in line. Don’t be over desperate for a steady boyfriend and forget everything about yourself and who you are. Don’t download every Drake mixtape because he says he only likes the old Drake. Don’t dye your hair brown because he says he like brunettes better. If you think NWTS was the best album Drake every made, rock it girl. You better blast that album every time he comes over. If you are a fiery red head, embrace it! Do not change your hair color because you are so beautiful, and someone is right around the corner waiting to tell you how stunning you are every day.
For those in a committed relationship since you were young (4+ years), I salute you, but I do have a few questions I want you to ask yourself. Like I previously mentioned, he or she should not be wanting you to change who you are. Don’t stay in the relationship just because it is "comfortable," "I don’t know anything else," "I haven't dated in years. What if no one else likes me?" These are the last things that should be going through your head. You might have talked about marriage and a family. You have been planning your life together since you were young. I understand this, and if he is perfect and you are in love, congratulations. I am so happy you have found each other. On the other hand, are the rest of you just playing it safe? Is it the safest option that you can think of? Well, think harder.
Remember the statistics I gave earlier. There is so many more men out there for you! You are still so young, so beautiful. Dream bigger and do not settle (that is the theme of this post). You are worth so much more than you know. Someone out there is going to play with your hair before you go to sleep. Someone out there is going to never let you get your own drink. Someone out there will bring you a big ass bowl of queso because you are on your period. Someone out there will buy you flowers "just because." He will be exactly who you have been searching for. Relationships are a give and take, but the one will be worth fighting for. The good will by far exceed the bad. Every day will be so incredibly magical.
As cliché as this all sounds, I never want you to lose hope. Settling will only cause more pain and suffering later on. He is out there. Some might meet him tomorrow. Some might have to wait awhile. Some might have already found him. I promise, anything worth having is definitely worth waiting.
And hey, last word of advice, for those who have to wait some time for a boy to sweep you off your feet, never forget your gal pays. In the words of Carrie Bradshaw, "Maybe our girlfriends are our soulmates and guys are just people to have fun with."
