Typically, when others find out about a long-distance relationship in college, their first reactions are along the lines of: “Why?” or “How?” or “That must be hard..is it really worth it?”
Long distance relationships are hard, and they require a great amount of effort, communication, and trust. At the end of the day, it’s the little things that matter most.
1. Call your partner on your way to work/school/any activity.
This is an easy way to hear their voice and check up on how their day is going. Even if you have a busy schedule, this is a nice gesture to show that they’re still a priority to you.
2. Send each other mail.
It may sound old-school, but receiving a letter or package from your s/o in the mail is an exciting feeling. This shows that they’re thinking of you, and they went out of their way to prove it.
3. Make FaceTime or Skype a regular thing.
Seeing each other’s faces on a daily basis is pretty important. Texting and calling are nice, but nothing beats being able to see them in real-time.
4. Have dates.
Impromptu FaceTimes and Skypes on your way to class are nice, but setting time aside to just focus on each other is necessary. Videocall them while you’re both watching the same movie or while you’re both at a local coffee shop. The possibilities are endless!
5. Communicate.
If they’re doing something that’s bothering you, tell them. If you’re having a bad day, tell them. If you just want to be alone, TELL THEM. It may seem harder to start difficult conversations when you’re not physically in front of them, but it’s absolutely crucial for a successful long distance relationship.
6. Don’t over communicate.
Communication is important, but it’s also important to not over-do it. As tempting as it is to stay glued to your phone texting/calling your significant other, make sure you’re still present in your own environment.
7. Don’t hide behind your screen.
If you and your significant other begin to fight, or anything close to it, call them (preferably videocall). Fighting over text never ends well, so just call.
8. Surprise them!
Surprise visits are the best visits (you may need to coordinate with their friends in order to pull this off), especially if your partner is having a tough week.
9. Plan out the next time that you’ll see each other.
Setting expectations for how often you will see each other is a good idea. Realizing that it’s not realistic to see each other every weekend is probably a good idea, too.
10. Respect each other’s alone time.
If you both aren’t doing anything, that doesn’t mean you should always be talking. Taking time for yourself is completely acceptable (and encouraged).
11. The little things matter.
The little things in your day eventually add up. Tell each other about them! If you don’t, you miss out on each other’s daily lives.
12. Don’t let other people influence your relationship.
Many people will question you, and some will even try to tell you that it’s not worth it. If you’re confident in your relationship, that’s all that matters.
13. Know each other’s general schedule.
At the beginning of the day, try to communicate your schedule for the day to each other. This way you can know when to call and know when they will be unavailable.
14. Don’t compare each other’s efforts.
You will each be busy at different times in your life, which means you both won't always be able to put forth the same amount of effort at the same time. It’s not a competition. Unless your partner is obviously not invested in the relationship, you don’t need to be concerned.
15. Trust each other.
Trust is so, SO important. It will be tough at first, but learning to trust your partner is a crucial aspect of long distance. Without a sense of trust, jealousy erupts into anger, fighting, or worse (a break up).
A long distance relationship isn’t easy (especially in college), but sticking to these 15 tips will make it a little bit easier. :)
