Perhaps the biggest issue with living abroad that I failed to consider prior to moving out of my parents house was what would happen to family traditions and holidays once I wouldn't be able to attended them all? Surely I knew I'd get the big ones, like Christmas or maybe even Easter, but that was only because the breaks were longer and it made more sense. To be honest, it actually never really hit me that I was moving to a different country for college until it actually happened. I know in my heart today that moving away was one of the best decisions I've ever made, mostly because I know I wouldn't be half the person I am today if I hadn't left home and this opportunity turned out to be the greatest thing that ever happened to me. Yet, even with the great things that come with finding yourself and constantly working to improve and figure out who you are, homesickness is still a thing that will remain very real for most of us in this situation. That, along with the feeling of actually being on your own, takes some time to hit you and actually become a reality, but at that point, feeling displaced or not is something out of locus of control.
In the beginning I knew I'd miss my family and friends back home and I knew that being on my own was definitely going to be a challenge, but I didn't think it was going to be one of the biggest implications of my decision to move away for college. Surely I missed the important celebrations, like Mother's Day, Father's Day, birthdays in general and all that, but what I missed the most were the small get-togethers, the dinner parties, the Sunday dinner where everyone goes out for pizza. I missed being there for the small things, the small achievements, the happy and the sad trivial problems, I missed gossiping with my mom and watching action movies with my dad. Until today, almost every night I miss the fact that my parents always made me sit down for dinner and talk to them about my day; its when the small things begin to snowball and eventually hit you like a crashing tide.
As much as I miss my family every single hour of every single day, I managed to find friends who are going through similar situations and have become my family away from home. Leaving home is a difficult process, but understanding that after you do that, the entire world becomes more and more familiar and you understand that whenever you need to, you can go back. Learning things on your own is a necessary thing to experience, its literally the lab part of the life course, where you've learned all you had to in theory and lectures, and now its time for you to apply those concepts in real time. So I know that even though my heart aches in this Mother's Day because I can't physically be there to celebrate with my best friend, she knows that I'll always come back home and that no matter where I am in the world, she's proud of the person I've become and that all the hardships and the "saudades" eventually pays off.
If anything, being homesick but also comfortable wherever else you chose to go is the ultimate proof that you still know you belong home, no matter how much you've changed, but that you get to make new memories in different places with different people. You get to grow more and more with new scenarios and friends, but deep down you know where you come from and you know that no matter what that will still be a huge part of who you are. Also, thank all the worshipped deities in the world for Facetime and Whatsapp, I honestly would not be able to function without video calling my family today.
