In Greek mythology King Sisyphus is infamous for his deceit and betrayals. He killed, cheated, and stole from anyone he could. A natural sweet talker, Sisyphus’ luck eventually ran out, and he was killed. In death Sisyphus was sentenced to an abysmal afterlife. In the underworld he would have to roll a boulder to the top of a mountain, and watch it roll back to the bottom repeatedly for an eternity. The gods had figured that such meaningless and futile labor would be the greatest punishment for Sisyphus. But it wasn’t.
The first time Sisyphus pushed the rock up that mountain must have been some kind of hell. At first, he probably figured it wasn’t too bad, but with each step Sisyphus gave more and more of himself to the toil. But as he drew closer and closer to the top of the mountain Sisyphus held a grin. This wasn’t so bad after all. Step after step Sisyphus drew closer to the peak until, with one last burst of strength, he pushed the massive boulder over the peak and watched it meander its way to the base of the mountain.
Something odd happens on his way down the mountain. Retracing his steps down the side of the mountain Sisyphus’ smile dissipates. He is fully conscious and aware of the absurdity of his fate. There is no hope for a temporary escape, nor a cancellation of punishment. Sisyphus could have been held prisoner to the absurdity of his fate, but he wasn’t.
The great existentialist Albert Camus has suggested that Sisyphus, in the face of an arduous and excruciating hell, approached his task with joy. At the base of the mountain Sisyphus gazes at the rock with joy and a sly smile. That’s not to say Sisyphus’ damnation was all daisies and rainbows. In fact, Sisyphus routinely struggled in the face of exhaustion and wanting. It’s in these moments that Sisyphus recalls the mortal world that he has left behind. It is in these hopes and wishes of happiness that Sisyphus finds the opposite.
The fact is that Sisyphus, like most of us, was damned to a cruel and unusual life. Full of struggle and regret of the life he had lived, Sisyphus could not outrun his fate. Sisyphus was left with a crushing truth that now overshadowed his entire existence. It could have eaten him alive or crushed him, but instead Sisyphus acknowledges the futility of his fate and watches as his sorrow and melancholy begin to vanish.
Many of us stand at the base of a seemingly insurmountable mountain with our own rock that is too heavy to move. Whether that rock is something physical like a job or school, or something mental like fear or anxiety all of us deal with inescapable objects in our life. In the face of our rock, some of us waste away complaining about our personal hells. Others bury their head in their hands looking back at a better time, but the fact is that none of us can out run our fate, nor ourselves.
My boulder is money and debt. Ever since I decided to transfer to Spring Arbor, there has been an inescapable cloud of debt hanging over my head (not to mention the additional costs to study at Oxford during my senior year). To save money and push the boulder I opted to return to my hometown and work over the summer. I work every single day and have two jobs. I’m an in shop worker at Jimmy Johns, and am helping a gentleman flip his house. For the past month, my life has consisted of making sandwiches and digging out a basement egress.
I started off excited anticipating a great return on investment so to speak. I was quickly disappointed. My paychecks were never as high as I would have liked them, and I never seemed to be able to work enough hours. All of that was manageable, until I looked over at some of my peers enjoying their summers to the fullest, while I labored in a God forsaken hole digging. I was stuck digging my own grave so to speak, as those around me had the time of their lives.
It was easy to relate to Sisyphus in that summer heat. I wondered how he could look at his insurmountable task with joy. The words little by little rang in my head. It was with each shovel of dirt and each delectable sub that I found comfort. In the madness of my work I realized that it was as good, or bad, as I made it. Unlike Sisyphus our judgment has not been carried out, and is yet to have been written. Life can be a seemingly constant struggle with little hope, but it doesn't have to. Yes we will struggle, but we can do so with joy. While, Sisyphus was condemned to eternal torment, we don’t have to be damned to the same fate. Each day is a new opportunity to begin anew and to start fresh. With this we begin to feel more like Sisyphus; we will repeatedly struggle against our boulder, but it no longer feels quite so heavy.
