No matter who you are, you’ve doubted yourself. It doesn’t matter how old you are, what color your skin is, or where you’re from. Self-doubt is something we all face from time to time, and it is perfectly healthy. What isn’t healthy is when those doubts become something more. When they become little voices, like mini versions of your conscience, telling you that everything you’ve ever done and everything you’ll ever do is wrong. That is no longer simply self-doubt. It’s something much deeper, much scarier and much harder to shake. But it is shakeable. For anybody dealing with self-hatred, this one’s for you. Here’s what it feels like to love yourself.

1. You’ll know your friends, parents and significant other still love you, even when they aren’t actively telling you so. You’ll know in your heart that of course they love you; they’d be silly not to. If somebody didn’t return your text in 11 minutes, they haven’t decided to cut you out of their lives, no matter what your brain is trying to tell you. You’re a catch, and they know it.

2. You won’t constantly overthink who you are. The way you used to get angry at yourself for talking so much? You aren’t too much, you’re passionate. Maybe you’re quiet and reserved, and you spend your time around people hoping you aren’t coming across as standoffish. You aren’t unapproachable, you’re a thinker. Maybe you take everything to heart. That doesn’t make you weak or vulnerable; it makes you caring and compassionate. When you learn to love yourself, you won’t be preoccupied worrying about everybody else’s perception of you. You’ll love who you are; whether you’re laid back and easygoing, or you feel every emotion to its fullest potential - you will love you for you.

3. Last but not least, you will learn to forgive yourself. Any mistakes you’ve made, any intentional or unintentional pain you’ve inflicted on others, any regrets you’ve forced yourself to carry, you will decide that it’s all OK. You’ve made your mistakes even though they’ve weighed you down for weeks, months, maybe even years. When you finally learn to love yourself, you’ll come to find peace for all of it. Take a deep breath in and exhale slowly. Tell yourself it’s OK, that you’re OK and that it’s time to move on. Your shoulders are tired from all the hurt they’ve been carrying. Forgive yourself.

Despite what you may be feeling right now, you will grow to love yourself. I know that’s hard to believe if you’re suffering from depression, eating disorders, anxiety, bipolar disorder, or anything else that may be weighing you down. You never know what sort of battles somebody might be facing. Be kind to each other, and be kind to yourself. Stop hating your soft, not flat tummy. Stop willing yourself to speak up more or less in public. Stop wishing for a thigh gap. Stop crucifying every little flaw you can find within yourself and start celebrating them instead. We are not perfect, unique snowflakes. We are avalanches - unstoppable, strong, free.