WARNING: Parts may be triggering. This is dedicated to everyone who has ever battled/is battling with an eating disorder. Who has low self-esteem. Who deals with depression. Who looks into the mirror and doesn't like what they see. Who has self-harmed. Who has attempted or considered suicide. This is for you. You are beautiful and I appreciate you.
It's something we all struggle with -- loving ourselves. We tend be our own worst critics and our biggest enemies. I struggled with this, too. Growing up, it felt like you were supposed to be a certain person. There were always such high standards and expectations you felt like you had to live up to. Be beautiful, smart, skinny, popular, idolized, perfect...
But then you looked in the mirror and you didn't see that. You didn't feel any of that. You didn't quite fit in like you wanted to. You felt left out. You spent a lot of time alone and so you picked out all of your imperfections. You clawed at the skin of all your flaws until you couldn't recognize yourself anymore. You changed your hair, your clothes, your body, and maybe even your personality. And you still weren't happy, but you had to pretend like you were because you were worried no one would understand. I've been there too. I understand.
It takes time. It takes strength you didn't know you had. It takes tears. But you will overcome all that is troubling you.
Find yourself in things outside of your body. Find your passions. Music. Art. Sports. Community service. Academics. Reading. Writing. Travel. Find what you love to do, and then do those things. Do them with all of your heart. You're going to realize how many things you're good at. You'll find your niche. You'll find the place you belong.
Next, do yourself a favor and stop buying those over-glamorized magazines. Stop idolizing people on a shiny page or your computer screen. Realize something: they don't look like that in real life. The glow on those legs or muscles? Photoshop. That unbelievably tiny waist? Photoshop. Don't get me wrong, those people are still beautiful without editing, but so are you. Don't try to look like an overly edited image. You never will.
Make peace with yourself. Forgive yourself. You are so much more than your mistakes; let go of them. Don't worry about the past. Sometimes things happen that we don't have any control over. Stop blaming yourself for them. Things happened the way they did for a reason. Grow from them. Let the past guide you, but never define you.
Forgive others, too. Let go of your grudges. They do you no good to hold onto. Humble yourself and apologize. Then let it go.
Get rid of the negative people in your life. If you surround yourself in only positivity, you'll have no choice but to develop a positive outlook on life. Besides, there's no sense in keeping around people who only put you down.
Become your own best friend. Laugh at yourself. Go out to eat by yourself. Go shopping by yourself. Adventure by yourself. Take pictures of yourself. Who cares if people look at you funny? They're missing out.
And after all of this, look at yourself in the mirror. Crack a smile. It's OK. You know you want to. Look at how beautiful that smile is. Look at how beautiful you are. Look at how good that shirt looks on you. It's just your color.
Finally, remember that you're a work in progress. I like to think of my life as a book. Each day is a page and each year is a chapter. I'm making it my goal that when it's finished, it'll be a New York Times Bestseller. Sometimes I spell words wrong, but I fix what I can and remember how to spell the word next time. And sometimes there are sad chapters, but that's what makes it interesting. When I go back and reread chapters, I realize how much I have grown. How strong I am. How well I'm doing for myself and how far I've come. I realize that I wouldn't trade my life and who I am for anything in the world. I may not be perfect, but neither are the best people you meet in life.
You won't wake up one morning and love yourself. It's a long journey. It's a never-ending journey. But it's worth every minute of it. You are so much stronger than you think and you are extremely beautiful, inside and out. I mean that. I believe in you and the person you are becoming every minute of every day. And remember, you are never alone. Everyone around you is searching for self-love. Everyone is writing their story day by day. And in the end, we'll all be OK. If we're not, it's not the end.
