When tragedy strikes, everyone around you will usually fall apart and they will need someone to rely on. Someone to hold them up when they are feeling down. Someone who is there to pick up the shattered pieces when they break and do whatever is necessary to help ease the pain. But because we put up a strong front, we are often overlooked by family member and friends, and many don't think to ask if we are OK.
Often times, the ones who are putting up the brave front and being a rock for everyone else are the ones who are most vulnerable. In public you don't see what is going on beneath the surface, but just wait. Whenever they are alone in their bedroom, their bathroom, or their car, they break down. By holding in all of their thoughts and feelings it is bound to come out eventually. But in order to put the ones they love ahead of themselves, they avoid the explosion of emotions from coming out in public. I should know.
August 25th, 2016 I lost my best friend, my mentor, someone who I referred to as my older sister. At school and work I had to stay distracted. I had to keep moving. Because if I didn't, I knew what would happen. All the emotions we have been suppressing would surface, and I would be a mess. And a little over 2 months later, on November 1, 2016, my grandfather passed away. And now everyone needs me. My little siblings, my dad, and especially my mom. I have been running around helping everyone because if I keep busy enough, I won't have to worry about how I feel. Even though I am now grieving 2 people at one time, and I have no clue how to do that.
When you are a rock, you keep pushing on and moving forward, even if you aren't ready to. Mainly because you do not have a choice. You have responsibilities, and by fulfilling them you must put everyone and their needs ahead of your own. The pain and hurt you are suppressing won't go away on it's own. It is OK for us rocks to take a step back. It is OK to feel and to hurt. We may be emotionally closed off most of the time, but many times in our life it's not necessary to put up these walls to keep people and your feelings at bay.
Being a rock has some pretty great qualities most of the time. You become a person that others can rely on. You are seen as someone who is always there whenever you need a shoulder to cry on, or simply someone who would do run errands for someone. But you must also remember that being a rock, does not mean you are invincible. Rocks can crack under pressure and break now and again. But never forget how appriciated you are, eve if someone doesn't always admit it.
