In a relationship, it's important to take care of each other. But you should not have to act like a parent.
There are many signs to tell if you are parenting your significant other, so here is how I realized I was mothering my boyfriend.
When you start dating someone, you are still getting to know the person. It may take a few months to know that person in full. For me, it took about three months. At this point in our relationship, we were totally comfortable and we could be our goofy (sometimes gross) selves.
Was this a blessing or a curse?
Most people would kill for a relationship where both people could be themselves around each other. In this case, it required a lot of work.
My ex-boyfriend ate like a pig and it bugged me a little bit at first, but eventually, it got out of control. I had to make food for him, I had to tell him to chew with his mouth closed, I had to wipe his face off with a napkin, and I had to clean up after him.
Boys don't have a very good sense of style, which is fine, but my ex did not know how to match at all. Therefore, he made me pick out his clothes. Although it was a motherish thing of me to do, I honestly didn't even mind because I didn't want him picking out his own clothes.
I think the worst thing was his driving. He was older than me by two years and still couldn't drive right. I was constantly pointing out and correcting his mistakes as my mother did when I had my learner's permit.
I also had to remind him to have manners, especially to his family. Isn't that something you learn when you're five? Apparently not.
This boy was 19 years old and I felt like I was mothering a child.
Although this wasn't the reason we broke up, it did have an impact.
Ladies, look for the signs, know your worth and make sure you're the girlfriend, not the mom.
I hope I taught him something and that he has made those corrections, but if he hasn't…
... good luck to the next girl.
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