We have all been dumped at one time or another. Maybe he wants a new girl, or maybe he thought he could do better (which he obviously can’t). Either way we have to find a way to get through the heartbreak without going crazy and staying emotionally sane. So listen to Gretchen, Karen, Cady and Regina, and get over him. Stop trying to make fetch (er...him) happen.
The "I Don't Care" Stage
This is the first stage of the break up. You don’t think it actually is happening. So, naturally you act like you don’t care. This stage involves not texting him first, hanging out with your girlfriends, and telling yourself he isn’t serious and he’s definitely going to beg for you back by this weekend.
The "OMG, This Is Not A Drill" Stage
You are freaking out at this point. He is serious, and y’all are done -- for good.
The "Concerned Parents" Stage
This is the stage where your parents are not only texting you, they are also texting your BFF checking to see if you are okay. This is also the stage where your BFFs are texting their parents telling them that there are a lot of girl’s nights in their future, and they might need some extra cash this weekend.
The "He Has A New Girl" Stage
This is the most emotional, crazy and slightly psychotic phase of the breakup. At this point, you understand that you're done for good, but wasn’t quite ready to see him and his new accessory giggling over drinks at your favorite bar. Note: we don’t actually want to stab Caesar -- we just hope he gets kicked out of school and has to move out of the country.
The "Junk Food and Wine" Stage
As Regina would say, “Is butter a carb?” You realize you can drink a bottle of wine and go to Taco Bell with your besties and have no one to judge you. This phase involves lots of ice cream, Papa John's, Netflix binge-watching and multiple midnight McDonald’s runs. You might gain a few pounds, but hey, it’s an experience. Soon enough you will be ready to hit up the town.
The "Time to Party" Stage
“Is there alcohol in this?” At this point, you think you run the world. You are free and you finally don’t care about that silly ex. You know that the world is your bar -- you can go wherever you want, whenever you want. You have your girlfriends by your side, and you know it’s going to be a good time no matter what you do.
The "Back to Dating" Stage
You finally realize your world wasn’t destroyed, and it didn’t end. You made it; through the heartbreak, sadness, and emotional roller coaster (with the help of your friends, of course). You meet new guys and date around. You think to yourself, "What was I thinking when I dated my ex?" And finally, you realize that you can be so much happier without him, and you can do so much better (obviously).
