It doesn't matter how many of those little inspirational quotes you read or how many people tell you "he wasn't worth it", "you're so much better than him anyway", or "you're so amazing you'll find someone new". Break ups still suck. Even if it was mutual or if you did the breaking up of, its not usually any fun. Regardless of the way things ended, you don't end up just losing you're boyfriend or girlfriend. You lost the person you watched Netflix with until 3am. The person you called because you saw something stupid on a shirt in a store that reminded you of them. It's the person who remembered not to get tomatoes on the burger they were picking up for you on their way to your house.
This past August I packed up and moved myself 5 hours down to West Virginia University to start my undergraduate degree. I left behind my job as a toddler teacher, my friends, family, and the guy I had been seeing off and off since March, but steadily since May. It wasn't the best relationship I had even been in, but I didn't think it would go out the way it did. Either way, I am thankful for the time I got to know him and have him and his family in my life. I wouldn't call it a clean break up, but I have learned a few things since, and I'm here to share those things with you.
1. Distance is a GOOD thing.
Most people aren't as lucky as I am. (I laughed typing that because its blatantly untrue, but applies to this.) Being 5 hours away from the person who broke your heart, (or you broke theirs) is actually a good thing. It gives both of you the space that is almost always needed after a break up. Unless you are willing to get in a car and drive 5 hours to argue with someone only for you to feel even more shitty when thats done, distance is your friend.
2. You're away at school, which means you're at the perfect place to find yourself (or distract yourself.)
Regardless of you're school size, you are surrounded by a ton of people who might share the same interests as you! And when you find them, (or find yourself in the process of) you'll be able to go out and enjoy yourself without having to worry about what's going on back home. There are so many clubs, activities and sporting events going on simultaneously that you could be distracted for almost every hour of the day. Eventually it becomes less of a distraction and more of your day to day life.
2.5. You're at college for crying out loud! You're surrounded by alcohol and boys (and while I don't recommend mixing the two, but that's on you...), go find a way to get the hell over him!
3. It might not necessarily be a bad thing...
He might have been you're high school sweetheart, your date to prom, or that hookup that took a turn for the best. But it doesn't mean your future husband isn't sitting behind you in your bio lecture. I mean shoot, maybe you'll marry your high school sweetheart, but if you broke up in college over something stupid or distance, I can almost promise you he wasn't the one.
4. You're at school to get a degree and learn something, so turn your focus to that.
Your focus going into college should be your education anyway, but obviously there is plenty of room for distraction and plenty of opportunities for your focus to shift. So now that your relationship is over, take all that emotion and energy you were giving to your boyfriend (or girlfriend) and give it to your school work. Write an A+ paper for that class you might not like but can understand enough to ace. and actually show up for class.
5. Who needs boys when you have ice cream??
Besides the fact that the freshman 15 is in fact a real thing, ice cream will always be your friend. So cry a little and then grab your girlfriends, grab a pint of Ben & Jerry's, and make yourself feel better. And then when you feel shitty about how much ice cream you just ate, go to the gym and work out till it hurts. Exercise makes you feel SO much better.
Yeah its gonna suck at first but I promise you'll come out of the whole thing a better, happier person. At least I hope you do.
