Dear potential new members of the Greek system, namely frats,
I must first state, for the record, that not every single member in fraternities are assholes. With that being said, quite a few of them are assholes, just something to keep in mind. As a former member of a fraternity, I have sat in on bid voting meetings, where a bunch of dudes gather together at the end of rush week and essentially speak on the "pros" and "cons" of each new guy who came out to their rush events. I have prepared a list of the top 10 things that frat boys most commonly judge you off of. Some of these things you would expect no less of, but others might make you take pause and ponder, "Hmmm. Do I really want to be a part of this group of asshats?"
1. How you carry yourself
During the rush/recruitment week and events, they claim they are looking for a man who is confident on his own feet and comfortable in his own skin. What they really mean is they are looking for a guy who is just as arrogant as they are, and aren't afraid of showing that all-too-familiar frat boy pompousness. There's nothing frat dudes dislike guys who are timid and scared of their own shadows; they're not looking for "betas;" they want an Alpha.
2. "Studs"
These guys aren't looking for fives on the attractive scale. These frat boys are looking for other, sexy, homo-erotica dudes who make "bad biddies" swoon and secretly make them want you. These frat guys are shallow and superficial; appearance matters 98 percent of the time in every situation you could think of.
3. Alcoholics
Frats are all about drinking. The more you can drink, the better. If you can't drink this much beer and be standing at the end of the night, then odds are you aren't who they want in their fraternity. They aren't trying to babysit; they're trying to throw down and get so schwasted they don't remember anything whatsoever. If you aren't down for that, then don't even waste your time on these dudes who would rather forget any fun they had rather than be moderately messed and still remember the night before.
4. Your Style
If this isn't your closet, you might as well turn around and walk away from the mall. Return to your dorm, or go and visit the campus club office. There are hundreds upon hundreds of other campus organizations you can join without having to look like Daddy will sue if you say or do the wrong thing to them.
5. Money
Along with your required sense of "style," money is an indicator that you are, in fact, not a "beta male." It shows that Mommy and Daddy pay for everything, and it shows that you have "power," though that isn't what money-bragging people tend to exude. If this isn't you on any given day or time, don't bother rushing. Fraternities are expensive, and your hard-earned, non-parental's money is better spent on more productive things.
6. Political Party/Ideology
If you aren't already a Republican or a Conservative, and/or you're just an outspoken Liberal Democrat who maybe believes in the true values of fraternities and want to change the game up, then you're going to either have to do one of three things. 1) Conform to the majority's belief systems, while sacrificing who you are as an individual, 2) be hated by the majority for your outspoken Liberal ways, or 3) just not join to begin with. Speaking from experience, frat boys don't like it when you buck the status quo of the group, even if it's based on your belief system.
7. Your Sexual Orientation
Odds are, the frat you really want to rush has a zero tolerance policy for homosexuals. It's just a common theme that runs throughout frats. If they even suspect that you like kissing other dudes, they'll either reject you outright, or they might give you a bid, just to haze the hell out of you for having the audacity to rush them in the first place.
So remember, guys. If you're going out to a fraternity recruitment/rush event, always be sure to be yourself, no matter what. Always stand up and act on what you believe in, and never try to impress a bunch of tools who will only eventually pretend to like you because you have the same letters on your shirts as they do. Remember to be 100 percent genuine and never tolerate anything less than 100 percent genuineness from others as well.
