7:30 a.m.- alarm clock sounds. I lean over the left side of the bed, pick up my phone, turn off the alarm, and unplug it from the charger. First, I check for text messages. Next, I check for e-mails. Then its time to check Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Snapchat (in that exact order).
I walk down the hallway past by Roommates' bedrooms, past the half bathroom, and into the full bathroom. I brush my teeth and walk back into my own room. I look once again at my phone to check the weather and choose a pair of black pants and a shirt to go with. My hair gets put into a bun, deodorant and body spray next, and then I grab my backpack and phone charger. I lock my bedroom door, flip on the lamp, and close the door behind me. I walk down the hall into the Kitchen; the grey pre-filled water bottle is on the second shelf in the fridge, and I grab a Granola bar from the cabinet above the Dishwasher. I check my phone for the time contemplating if I have time to use the bathroom one last time before the Bus arrives.
Coat is zipped up, shoes go on, I.D. and house key grabbed from the hook next to the door, and I walk to the Bus Stop to get onto the Bus to Campus. This is when it begins- the feeling of what is unknown. The ride to Campus is a whirlwind of emotions and questioning. I arrive at the Bus Stop, hop onto the Upper Campus bus, and now I can feel it creeping in.
The wondering, the questioning, the cold sweat creeping up my back. I make myself take a deep breath and remind myself of the day ahead: Class, break to read, Class, lunch with friends, Class, and then home. Homework, maybe work, maybe a Resident in need? Whatever the day brings I must mentally prepare for it now as early as I can.
As the day plays on, the lists get made. I need to be able to see all that I have to conquer today. I check my phone, look at the e-mails from the school about free programs and club meetings, and text my friend to decide where we'll go for lunch today. I am able to handle lunch with minimal anxiety- it wasn't too hard to find a seat, and I only saw a few people that I know. I leave my friend, walk up the hill to class, and wait to enter the classroom.
As class is completed, I now leave the building and walk down the hill to wait for the bus home. This is when I feel like I can't go on with the day. The wonder of how everything will get done, the wonder of what I have to do when I get home, and wondering what to make for dinner.
I lay in bed and contemplate when I arrive home; back in my bubble of safety. I begin to wonder what should get done first, what's most important, and what tomorrow will bring.
I choose the easiest meal to make, lay around as the hours pass, and tell myself "There's always tomorrow". This is how anxiety controls my life, and this is how I cope with it. It may not always be the best way, but as a person who is attending College while also dealing with daily life stress, a day when one thing on my list of ten can be completed is a day that is a succesful one that was more successful than the day before.
