My brother is three and a half years younger than me and is one of my best friends. He will be a freshman in college this fall and I will be completing undergrad. I’ve always thought the duty of an elder sister was an all-in-one combination of a teacher, second mother and more importantly a friend for life. Over the years, I’ve taught my brother how to read/write, the ins and outs with our parents, how to tie his shoes, the importance of academics, appropriate mannerisms and much more. In turn, he has unknowingly taught me important lessons of life that have significantly contributed to who I am and the reason why treasure life so much.
1. Worry less, stop trying to plan every moment and just LIVE.
This is something I hear everyday, and not only from my younger brother but most of the people in my life. I’m not exactly adventurous or able to “go with the flow” and I never have been. I’m a full-time planner, chronic worrier, and have the ability to able to jump to the worst conclusion possible in a single bound. The most “spur of the moment” thing I’ve ever done is probably an unplanned trip to the grocery store (Okay, I’m kidding…maybe). I think it’s easy to say that one of my brother’s biggest pet peeves is when I try to plan our days out but despite all of that, he constantly reminds me of how every moment in life is precious and not meant to be planned. The idea of the unknown for him is exciting and a critical part of life, but for me the unknown is frightening and difficult to embrace. He’s able to handle the unexpectedness of life with grace and that is something I will always admire. When I started college, I obsessively planned the next four years to a tee in terms of career, friends and extracurricular activities. Well, I’m sitting here now with almost no sense of direction and regret that I had expected so much from myself instead of letting go, even if it was just a little bit.
2. Being goofy, weird and sometimes childish is totally healthy.
If there is anything to be known about my brother, is that he is most definitely the more funny, easy-going and goofy sibling. He is able to find comedic relief in any and every situation. He is a firm believer in laughter is the best medicine and makes sure the people around him get the appropriate dose each day. It’s so easy to forget when engulfed around the seriousness of academics, that it’s more than okay to embrace your inner kid. Because, let’s face it...deep down, we’re all still kids but in bigger and more developed bodies.
3. There’s no such thing as being perfect, so just be you instead.
In addition to all of my other talents mentioned above, I could probably also be classified as a wannabe (emphasis on the “wannabe”) perfectionist. As much as the majority of us wouldn’t like to admit it, we are all steadily attempting to fit into a mold or a “cookie cutter”, per say in our everyday lives. We’re continuously trying to achieve “perfection” by following parameters portrayed by our family, friends or in the media. With this said, my brother is the most individualistic person I know. Throughout his life, he’s established his own personal “perfect”. He has no interest in comparing himself to others, aligning his wants due to someone else’s, or achieving goals based on pressures in society. He inspires me everyday to also find my perfect. So, instead of trying to find the mold you’re going to fit into, find and create the one that’s specifically yours and only yours because that’s the only one that matters.
4. Exist for those who matter and seriously, just forget about the rest.
I’ve learned this the hard way, time and time again. There are two types of people in our lives: the ones who matter and the ones who don’t. Initially, attempting to differentiate between the two types was almost close to pointless because either way I was putting forth the same effort in both relationships. My brother has taught me how think more logically, to see life in black and white and remove the extra clutter from our lives. Just today, I was joking around with one of my best friends about “return on investment” in regards to our friendships. But as crazy as it sounds, it makes so much sense. Our “loved ones” should bring us to our best and be there no matter what, instead of self-disappointment and subjective support. In the end, it’s all about assessing quality over quantity.
All in all, I’ve had the honor of being an elder sister for the past 18 years and it’s the best job I’ve ever had (Thank you, mom & dad!!!). The love and support expressed by my brother is unmatchable and I’m forever thankful. They say the time spent in college is where you find yourself, your lifelong friends and your greatest life passions. It’s an environment where your priorities and values are consistently challenged and changing based on your experiences. With this said, the “lessons” outlined above have allowed me to welcome the unknown, love those who deserve it, laugh at myself and adore imperfection. Thank you, bubba.
