The biggest mistake a young woman can make is dropping everything for a boy who does her more harm than good. Love can be blinding and it can lead people into doing very dumb things, which we almost always regret later on. Relationships are tricky when you're young. You're naive, too loving, too caring, and sometimes you don't realize how badly you're actually being treated. There's a huge difference between being a boy and being a man- and trust me, when you find the "right" man, you'll understand the difference and why it is important.
1. Boys show no support for your ambitions, goals and etc.
Boys are selfish. They will not support you or your goals in fear that you will end up being or doing better than them, and they're afraid of that type of success. I once heard "You're going away to school, and now we can't be together. You won't ever see me." With that kind of attitude, you're damn right I don't want to be with you. If you support my goals in life, I will always make time for you. I would never not make time for someone I love, but relationships are a two-way street.
2. Boys have no plans for themselves or their future, or they're lazy and unwilling
If a boy in his twenties is not going to school, not working, not driving, not trying, not pursuing, not chasing- get the hell away from them. They'll probably be living in their mom's basement and mooching off of her until they die. Get. The. Hell. Away.
Men will always be willing to work, learn, try, and put forth effort for something or someone. Do not make this mistake.
3. They manipulate you
Don't let a boy manipulate you or guilt you into doing something. Anything, for that matter. You should never have to feel forced into engaging in any sort of activity- whether it be innocent, sexual, or whatever.
A man will care for you, accept no as an answer, respect your decisions and will not make you feel like shit for them.
4. They are physically abusive
Let me start out by saying that if you are in an abusive relationship, please seek help. It will only get worse, and he is not sorry. Boys who are abusive towards you are only trying to reassure themselves of their masculinity, which actually flew out the window the moment they laid their hands on you. They are not men, and they never will be.
5. Boys do not want a future
You will not find yourself a future with a boy. They will not think about you and him together in the future, and he'll probably avoid the conversation at all costs.**
**Note- This applies to someone you've been with for a decent amount of time. Don't be one of those people that talks about moving in together after 3 weeks of dating. Unless you're both cool with it, do not be that person.
It all seems like common sense, but sometimes we do not realize the obvious until after the fact. It's strange how someone can control us and our thoughts. Ultimately, make yourself happy before you commit yourself to someone. Make sure that someone is worth your time, love, and affection before handing it out. Don't fall for dumb tricks. Don't let someone control you.
You deserve the best, but let it find you first.
