Ladies, let's be honest, we have the tendency to overreact or jump to conclusions. We're all guilty of overthinking things, getting emotional and we're almost almost always "hangry". Unfortunately, men often suffer the consequences of these traits that women were so graciously blessed with. This doesn't mean you have to be a total pushover. They are no where near perfect, and neither are we! You are your own person and you are entitled to your thoughts and feelings. You're totally allowed to interpret things in your own way and if something hurts your feelings or bothers you, by all means, speak up for yourself. A man who truly loves you will respect the fact that you have a backbone and aren't afraid to be open with your feelings and upfront. In fact, it makes their life easier when they don't have to sit there and play the guessing game with you trying to figure out what's really wrong behind the "nothing" answer you keep offering. My main point of this is not to encourage women to allow themselves to be walked all over. My point is to offer reasons not to overreact. Before you start blasting the entire "Lemonade" album start to finish, hear me out.
From one woman to another, give your mind and your man a break! Don't get mad at him for:
1. Having a "Guys" night.
First of all, guys NEED this time to well, do what guys do. You can't get mad at him for spending time with his friends, just like he doesn't have the right to get mad at you for hanging out with your friends in return. Every hour of his free time doesn't have to be dedicated to you. You guys both need to have that time with your friends. Just because he's spending time with his friends grabbing a few drinks or watching the game doesn't mean that he doesn't want to hang out with you. He's not choosing them over you. There needs to be a balance in a relationship. You can't isolate yourself as a couple, your friends are just as important. Don't forget to have time with your friends too! It's so healthy to have a little space or hang out in big groups.
2. Not texting you during the day.
Women have somehow interpreted this as a guy not putting enough effort into their relationship, or that they aren't making them feel special. Did I mention we tend to overthink things? Please keep in mind that he has a life. He works, might go to school, he has things he needs to get done. It doesn't mean he doesn't think of you, and it doesn't mean you're any less important to him. His texting habits aren't always a reflection of his feelings for you or the effort he puts in to the relationship itself. Don't jump to conclusions. Also, remember that you need to be out there doing your thing too. You don't have to be glued to your phone either. Get out in the world and conquer your day, and encourage your man to do the same. Be a power couple.
3. "Liking" another girl's picture on social media.
It's just a "like." It doesn't mean that he likes the girl, or that he is talking to her in an inappropriate manner. It could be a friend he has had since before you even knew each other. It could simply be because it's a cool picture. Don't allow yourself to be threatened over this. Obviously, there are certain people's pictures that he probably shouldn't be liking, like his ex, or a girl that you guys have had issues with in the past, I get that. You should obviously always be respectful of your significant other's feelings. Other than that, be easy on the guy. It's just a "like."
4. Going out without you.
I get that him going to a bar without you can be a little worrisome. Your imagination gets the best of you, and you can get anxious as you make up little scenarios in your head. Relax. You should be dating someone you trust completely. If you're in a healthy relationship, you should have no problem with them going out and doing their thing. They can go out and have beers with the guys and not do wrong by you. Try not to overthink things, and trust the guy you're with. They shouldn't be expected to stay in if you can't go out with them, and vice versa. It's a two way street, try to overcome that double-standard we tend to have. You should expect to be trusted enough to go out without him, and you should trust him enough in return. If he wants to abuse your trust and do wrong by you and your relationship, then you will know that he isn't worthy of being your man. Otherwise, have faith, people.
5. Having friends that are girls.
He had a life full of friends before you came into the picture, and that shouldn't change. He's allowed to have friends. Of course, he needs to be respectful. He shouldn't be buddy-buddy with an ex, and he should probably keep the overly persistent girl with ulterior motives at a distance, but again, trust him. Try not to be so possessive. Have faith that he will do right by you, don't overreact.
6. Opening your snap and not replying.
This doesn't mean he's ignoring you. This could mean a number of things. Maybe he didn't know what to say. I mean, what is he supposed to respond with when you send him a selfie with the classic dog filter/duck face combo. He could be busy and not able to snap a picture back. Just because he opens it and doesn't respond doesn't mean he's rejecting you or neglecting you.
7. Making fun of you.
This is honestly one of the most fun parts of a relationship. You need to be able to take a joke. A healthy relationship needs to have that open line of communication where you are free to laugh and be yourselves without having to walk on eggshells with each other. Be easy going and have the ability to laugh at yourself. Give it right back to him! Of course, there is a line that he shouldn't cross, and if he does cross that line you have the right to be offended. For the most part, have an open mind and have a sense of humor. You guys should keep each other laughing. Let loose!
8. Not being into PDA.
Just because your man doesn't shower you with affection in front of his friends or the public doesn't mean he isn't crazy about you. He could be shy, he could like to keep the kissing for private settings. As long he makes you feel loved in other ways, respect his comfort zone as he should respect yours in return.
9. Being "short" with you via text.
We can't get anxious over those two-worded responses. His, "yeah, sure" doesn't mean he's being short or having an attitude with you. Guys don't put a lot of thought into texts, and they shouldn't always be expected to. Maybe he's busy and was trying to reply to you quickly, or maybe that response answered your question. He shouldn't have to type a paragraph to satisfy you. You're not a teacher grading his paper, you're not his mother who has the right to question his attitude, you're his girlfriend. Don't be so hard on him. His "sure" in no way, shape, or form meant "shut up, stop bothering me, I don't care." Don't read too much into things, and don't jump to conclusions. It's just a text.
10. For being busy.
"He never makes time for me anymore," is a classic line that's thrown around by annoyed girlfriends who haven't seen their man in a couple of days. You guys don't have to spend every day together. You should be so crazy about each other that you want to spend a lot of time together, but you don't have to devote every waking minute to each other. He should have his own ambitions and you should too. Go out and get your studying done, pick up an extra shift, hang out with your friends. It's good to be busy, it's productive. You don't want your man to lay around at home waiting for you. You should both be motivated and push each other to uphold responsibilities and support each other for getting out there and working hard. I repeat, it's all about balance. A healthy relationship needs time for friends, alone time, and time to accomplish goals both separate and together.
I'm not saying you can never get mad at your boyfriend. We're all human here. You're bound to get annoyed with him, and he's bound to get mad at you in return. It's natural and honestly healthy. If you don't have a strong enough relationship where you can't be open with your partner and tell them when something bothers you, then you shouldn't be together. But you should also keep in mind that you can't always overreact and overthink things. Sometimes, we really do expect too much of them. They can't be expected to read our minds, be overly sensitive and glued to their phones anticipating our every text or phone call, and have their world revolve around us. I am in no way saying to be a doormat. If something bothers you, speak up for yourself! Embrace your feelings and have the integrity to be upfront. In the same breath, trust the person your with and have faith in his loyalty to you. Try not to over think things and don't sweat the small stuff.