I was bullied from my elementary years and even until my high school years. I was even bullied, or I more considered it emotional abuse in my first year of college. Being bullied made me who I am today, and it still sometimes affected me today.
When I was a kid, I knew that I was different with my autism and I once asked my mother, "Why don't my classmates want to be friends with me?" What kid asks that to any person?
I got bullied because I rock (that was more when I was child) , skinny, and people my own age when we were kids thought I was annoying. The worst was when I was in eighth and ninth grade. All of the popular guys and even the guys that lived in my neighborhood were my tormentors. I was sexually verbally abuse by most of them in eighth grade on the bus and even one the boys grabbed my arm (who is a friend of mine now.) I got told that year that someone thought I was gay and did not want to be my friend due to that. I was 15 at the time and I told my parents and sister, we just laughed. However, if I was gay I would have not care and it would probably hurt worst than it did. Eighth grade year was the worst year ever in my schooling history. I would make myself "sick" and complain about my stomach so I could miss school. If I could not miss school, I would come home after school cried, listen to music while singing along, and I would have to tell myself at the ripe age of 15. "It will get better. It has too." I remember doing that so clearly.
Then I hit my ninth grade, it was amazing and stressful year in that I was in marching band; however, it did not matter I still got bullied in my gym class. I dreaded that period so much. I always got picked last for everything. We played volleyball in one of the units and I remember my team being super mean to me not allowing me to have the ball ever. Another unit, we had was tennis and the "cool" guys would tell me, "F*** you, Cindy!" I did not know many of the guys who told me this and it hurt so much. I was a quiet person than never really stood up for myself then either. I went to my friends and told them about it. One of them went, "Cindy just get over it..." I don't think that person knows how much that hurt getting told that. I finally told my parents at a McDonald's. They knew something was up. I said that one of my classmates tried to help me and my mom thought it was one of my good guy friend. I remember he told me he got sent to the principal for what was happening to me and he goes you're getting bullying. Being me I went no and you better not tell anyone (I have always been super defensive and I have always tried to deal with things by myself.) However, after he found out no one bugged me in high school, maybe he said something or maybe he didn't but who knows?
When I was in my first year of college, I was emotionally abused by my roommate. That is another topic for another time.
I hope from what you read is that bullying does affect someone maybe you do not see it; however, it always going to be there. The scars, the hurt, and most of all, trust issues.
However, it made me who I am now which is being strong willed, sassy, and loud. I promise, it gets better, there is nothing wrong with you, and it has everything to do with that person.
