How 'Avengers: Endgame' Affected My Wellbeing Once It Was Over

SPOILER WARNING: This article contains spoilers for "Avengers: Endgame."

I went to go see Avengers: Endgame on opening night. I was pumped for this movie, as I had been eagerly waiting a year. But the end of this movie is not what I was expecting. Nor was it what I wanted.

Let's cut right to it. The death of Tony Stark affected me deeply. I am not happy with it, but it brings the series full circle since Iron Man was the first movie in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. It's only right that the series ends with his death. But I did not expect things to unfold the way that they did.

I think the reason that Tony's death affects me so much is the fact that he has a daughter and she now has one less parent. I, too, have one less parent. My mom died three years ago when I was 16, and that is not something you can get over easily. Or get over ever, for that matter. Even though Tony's daughter Morgan is four in this movie, losing a parent at any age is a hard thing to deal with.

At the beginning of the movie, we saw the kind of relationship that these two had. It's a loving, playful one that I most people can relate to. It's the kind of relationship that I had with my mom and that I still have with my dad. Growing up, and even into my teenage years, my mom would always call me her sunshine girl or tell me that she loved me to the moon and back. Though it's not the same thing in the movie, Morgan tells Tony that she "loves him 3000." The meaning of "I love you so much" is there and it's something I resonated with.

When we see the scene of Tony's funeral, it reminded me of my mom's. The camera pans over every life that Tony has affected in the MCU. There was a lot to pack into one scene, but it was touching. At my mom's funeral, our church was packed to the point that there was standing room only in the back. I don't go to a huge church, but I don't go to a small one either. The thing that these two people have in common, though, is that they touched people's lives in tremendous ways, and made the world a better place in doing so.

I remember when the Iron Man movies would play on TV, my mom would always watch them. To be quite honest, I wasn't interested in Marvel movies until my senior year of high school. Action movies stress me out because I become invested in the characters, and I don't think that anyone likes the feeling of stress. But I just remember how she loved watching Iron Man whenever it came on, so Tony Stark has a bit of a connection to my mom in my heart.

I do remember watching Captain America with my mom in middle school, though. It was a positive memory, filled with us ogling over the new and improved Steve Rogers after he was injected with the super soldier serum. I imagine that if my mom was still around when I got into the movies, that we would watch them together.

Another part that I'm still quite sad about, is Black Widow's death. I didn't realize until she and Hawkeye got to Vormir what had to happen. I forgot that in order to get the soul stone, you need to surrender a life. This was a plot point that I was not ready for.

From the moment I saw Black Widow in the first Avengers, I was drawn to her. I didn't have a special connection to her, but I respected her since she's a badass woman. I'm always in favor of strong female characters, and that is exactly who Black Widow is.

So when she let go of Hawkeye's hand, my heart fell with her. To witness the death of such a strong character, who has grown immensely over the course of the MCU, was heartbreaking. While there is supposedly a Black Widow movie in the works, it's speculated that it will focus on Natasha Romanoff's younger years, meaning that she's gone for good. I wish that the MCU had focused on Natasha's character more before ending her storyline, but I guess that's just how it works sometimes.

The one thing that I enjoyed about the ending of Endgame was Steve's happily ever after. He finally got his dance with Peggy Carter, and it's alluded that they spend a beautiful life together. Plus, Steve hands his shield to Sam Wilson, making him the new Captain America. I can't wait to see where that storyline goes.

The one thing that left me scratching my head, though, is the concept of time travel that the MCU uses. If anyone can explain that to me, it would be greatly appreciated.

Endgame left me feeling sad, but I know that what happened, in the end, was needed. It was a beautiful ending to the Avengers series, but who knows, maybe we'll get a different set of Avengers down the line with a new plot.