Divorce happens to 40 to 50 percent of married couples in the United States. I, Aaron Lee Whelchel, am a child of divorce. In that sense, I am a statistic. I am one of many children who have watched their once seemingly world be split into two separate entities. I know this may sound depressing right now, but allow me to continue to tell my story and hopefully, whether a child of divorce of not you can see the silver lining in this article.
My parents divorced when I was in the 4th grade. My mother, my little brother, and I had gone on vacation to New York City to visit my uncle Jerry. While visiting him, my mother had called my father one night and told him that she did not want to be married anymore. She told my dad to be out by the time we came back from vacation. That is how it all started.
Soon after that my dad had moved out, and so began the legal process. Custody battles, confusion, and hearing two different sides as to why my parents would no longer be together. All of these things were not the easiest of trials for a boy in the 4th grade to face.
Soon after all the legal business took place and my parents were legally divorced, we started to visit our dad every other weekend. Then for holidays, one parent got us one year and then the other parent got us the next year. Now both families have learned to accommodate each other by having the holiday celebration on different days. Allowing for my brother and I to spend holidays like Christmas with both sides of our families.
As time went on the divorce only got uglier. I felt myself being pulled in two opposite directions for my parent's loyalty, which led to mass confusion of who my parents really were as individuals. Eventually this all culminated with me and my brother leaving my dad’s in the middle of the night and not seeing him again for a whole year, which was a time of great sadness for not only my father, but for myself as well.
I remember the day I began to realize I didn’t know who my father really was as an individual man. I was on the bus going to a football game my freshman year of high school when we passed through the town my dad lived. I recalled thinking how weird it was to be there again. I started to think what my dad was doing and if he missed me. Shortly thereafter, I began to visit my dad almost every weekend, learning from him and discovering who my father was as an individual. It definitely put a strain on my mother and I’s relationship, but in the end it was all worth it.
As a 21 year old these days, I look back and see that my parents were never meant to work out. They came from two different backgrounds, had differences in opinions, different styles of parenting, and a different set of morals and values. But I do know this. I have received the best of both worlds. A firm yet compassionate style of love from my father and an endless support from my mother. My parents differences have helped make me who I am, which I believe many would say is a very balanced individual. Yes, their divorce put a lot of emotional and mental strain on my early life, but I see now I never lost a family. I see now that I have two extremely loving and supportive parents. They may not have been “soulmates,” but they will always be my parents.
So I want to thank you, Mom and Dad, for everything you’ve ever taught me. I love you both and truly thank God for having the best of both worlds from my parents. I hope to take the best qualities from both of you in order to be a great parent to my children someday.
