If You Make Your Hot Chocolate With Water, You Might Be The Spawn Of Satan
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If You Make Your Hot Chocolate With Water, You Might Be The Spawn Of Satan

Madness. Just Madness.

If You Make Your Hot Chocolate With Water, You Might Be The Spawn Of Satan

Now that Thanksgiving is over and it's now socially acceptable to talk about Christmas and Christmas-sy things without someone jumping down your throat, let me ask you all a question.

Have you ever bothered to look at the back of a Swiss Miss hot chocolate box? Yes, you heard me, the box of our favorite, cozy holiday drink. No?

Well, maybe you should give it a try, because you'll be pleasantly surprised to find the words, "For more indulgent hot cocoa, make with milk." Sounds good, right?!

And for all you vegan folk, one box even suggests "Substitute coconut or almond milk for a delicious twist!" so miss me with that BS.

And yet.. people are still using... water... instead of milk....?

Most of them use water WILLINGLY. Madness, pure madness.

I conducted a poll on several social media platforms asking which liquid people use to make hot chocolate, and nearly 76 percent of voters use milk, which makes my heart happy.

But you know what that means for the 24 percent of you who use water? Y'all are the spawn of Satan, end of story.

I mean, why would you chose to consume something less indulgent than its counterpart. That's like eating hot wings without the hot sauce, a PB&J without the peanut butter, sweet potatoes without the little marshmallows, eggs without bacon.

It's like living a life without love, and no one wants that! It's like eating cookies without milk.

Guys, that's like, Santa's favorite snack, ever. We can't, I repeat, we can't separate them, so why are we separating hot chocolate and milk?

Ya know, I once dated a boy, and I thought he was the love of my life. I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with him. And then, one day, he told me he makes his hot chocolate with water, and that was it. Boy, bye.

If you feel the need to live a tasteless, watered down, miserable life, then so be it. But I, an intellectual, will continue to consume my beautifully indulgent hot chocolate, with milk, while you guys suffer in hell.

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