Some people have this preconceived notion that contemporary all-girls schools are based off of (or still are) pre-Title-XI finishing schools, where girls were encouraged to practice the behaviors of pristine, white-gloved, educated society women before marriage. Other people who disagree with all-girls schools clearly believe too strongly in the things they’ve seen on Netflix. In both dramatic and satirical movies and television shows with a focus on all-girls schools such as Tanner Hall, Mad Men (season six), Wild Child, J’amie: Private School Girl, and St. Trinian’s, the audience is being told the same story over an over again, about the girl who was abandoned by her rich, neglectful parents and turned to a rebellious lifestyle of smoking, drinking, and secret lesbian sex while away from the supervision of her parents, trying to prove herself worthy of the senior girls’ praise (or something along those lines). What you haven’t heard is the reality behind all-girls schools—a reality that goes above and beyond learning how to handle silverware properly (even though etiquette, cooking, and sewing classes are obviously a major part of the curriculum) and come up with devious plans to distract the dorm parent and security guard and sneak out after check-in. Or something along those lines.
Picture a typical girly sleepover: homemade chocolate chip cookies, a movie marathon (probably Harry Potter), nail painting, gossip and girl-to-girl advice, corny jokes, and that one annoying person who snores all night. Now picture the same thing, but at an all-girls school, where homemade chocolate chip cookies are baked by your dorm mom, Harry Potter movie marathons and nail painting happen in the common room, gossip and girl advice turn into political discussions over a round, dining hall table, your corny jokes only ever receive a response because your friends have lived with you long enough to shake their heads and say, “Typical,” and that one annoying person who snores all night is your roommate. School is more enjoyable when it starts to feel like home. On the weekdays you have a strict schedule: wake up, go to class, go to lunch, go to more classes, go to soccer practice (or Robotics or Dance Workshop or Chamber Choir), eat dinner, go to study hall, check in with your dorm parent, go to your dorm meeting, and finally, go to bed. This is the kind of disciplined school day not only distracts new students from being away from home, but it also teaches an important lesson on time-management and learning to live a balanced, well-rounded life, especially without the added distraction of having boys around all the time. This isn’t to say that boys in the classroom are a regular distraction for most high school girls, but I personally believe that I was able to focus better because of my comfort level in a single-sex environment.
In middle school, I felt invisible amongst not just the students, but the teachers and faculty, too. Despite having a lovely group of friends (one of whom I still keep in touch with), I felt like there was a void that needed to be filled. Again, while this isn’t a problem for everyone at co-ed schools, it was a problem for me personally. At my single-sex high school, however, I got the attention I felt I deserved and wanted. There seemed to be a clear difference in the way girls participated both in and outside class; suddenly, I was pushing myself academically to keep up with my new classmates. I will say that freshman year is the most difficult in terms of fighting stereotypes associated with all-girls schools. Everyone is coming from different places with diverse backgrounds, ethnicities, comforts, and traditions. Part of being educated at a private school is learning how to respect and appreciate people from all over the world with interests starkly unlike your one’s personal interests; maturity takes time no matter what kind of high school education one receives. However, after spending four years sleeping in the same dorms, eating in the same dining hall, taking the same classes, and participating in the same activities, these girls become inseparable—and their friendship is something that can withstand even passing time.
If it weren’t for my all-girls high school education, I personally feel like as though I would not have developed the lifelong trust and sisterhood with my classmates had I gone to school anywhere else. Being an alumna of an all-girls private school automatically grants me credibility if I ever want to teach at a private school, occasions to help young women establish themselves and/or promote whatever I end up doing in the future at alumnae events, close connections with other alumnae that are bound to do amazing things all over the world, and opportunities for my future daughter, niece, granddaughter, etc., should she ever be interested in attending the same school. Not only that, but the small student-teacher ratio led me to meet some of the most influential teachers and mentors I will ever know, and I will be eternally grateful for their guidance for the rest of my life. In sixth grade, I wrote in a scrapbook entry that I wanted to go to a big state school, become a nurse, and have a big family; while those aren’t bad goals by any means, they certainly aren’t mine, and I probably wouldn’t be writing this article if it weren’t for the teachers I had in high school who encouraged me to peruse some kind of future career in writing. If it weren’t for the unique classes and curriculum offered at my school, I probably would have never been on a robotics team, taken an astronomy class, been encouraged to do feminists readings of every novel ever written, or found my true passion for painting in a beautiful studio that become my sanctuary junior year. Going into an all-girls school, I was nervous and afraid that I would not enjoy my time there, or better yet, get kicked out for poor grades. Little did I know, it would soon become my safe haven and everything I could have ever wished to experience during a time when I did not know who I was, what I liked to do, or where I wanted the future to take me; it is the reason why I push myself everyday to try and reach out of my comfort zone if I know the risk will be worth it.
There is one memory I have from my freshman year that always comes back to my mind at random moments, whether I’m walking through the Boston Common on my way to class, or lying in bed waiting to fall asleep, or standing in line at Starbucks. Suddenly, I’m back in the common room of my freshman dorm, with a matted, stained carpet, moldy smell, yellowing kitchen appliances, denim (yes, denim) couches with God knows what between the cushions, and a thick, desktop Macintosh computer that I’m pretty sure only one girl ever used. It’s a Saturday evening. I’m coming back from my first ever co-ed high school dance and see a combination of lower and upperclassmen watching Alfred Hitchcock’s The Birds on an outdated television. They eat donuts out of two big, black garbage bags, which were generously donated by the gas station/fast food chain downtown and were going to be thrown into a dumpster at the end of the day anyway had they not been requested by a group of teenaged girls at closing time. I think this is when I knew for the first time that I’d made the right decision.
