Asking "are you still watching" is the most insulting question you can ask.

When you spend a lot of time at home, you find yourself falling into a routine.

You know you've mastered the art of vegging out at home when you've found the exact spot on the couch that perfectly molds to your butt, you've perfected your signature snack mix, you've found your favorite combination of sweatpants and hoodies, and you have plowed through at least six shows on Netflix without feeling an ounce of guilt.

Until Netflix asks that one pestering question: "are you still watching?"

Something about that question makes you feel a little insulted, like Netflix has suddenly become that friend that genuinely cares about your safety, but also wants to ruin your night in by insinuating that you have become a shell of a person.

Yes, Netflix, I am still watching "Friends". It has been two hours and I haven't moved, what makes you think I want that to change any time soon?

When the option to "skip intro" arises, take it.

With that in mind, Netflix also has some helpful options as well.

After you've passed the "are you still watching" guilt test, Netflix takes a big sigh and accepts the fact that there's no stopping you on this binge. Instead, Netflix offers the option to expedite the binge by skipping the intro.

Yes, we all love the catchy jingle from "The Office", but there's something about the ability to skip through to the good stuff that moves Netflix a step off of your shit list.

A sleeping pet on your lap means you cannot move. 

We all love our pets and can't stand to disturb them when they are settled in for a nap.

We really hate to disturb them when they fall asleep next to us on the couch or, worse, on our laps.

Need to get a snack? Can't, the dog is knocked out.
Have to pee? Can't, the cat will claw your face off.

Need to answer the phone that is sitting across the room? Too bad, you're stuck playing pillow to a tiny little hamster.

Don't pretend you aren't happy you have a reason to remain in the exact same spot for hours. We all know you weren't getting up anyway.

"Sorry, I already made plans" is the equivalent of your golden rule.

Inevitably, one of your friends will always ask you if you want to come out. By now, you assume that they know you refuse to leave your home unless forced, but there is always that one persistent soul that insists "you should get out more."

Instead of lashing out, you decide to make up a lie about what you are doing during that time that prevents you from rotating through the three "going out" outfits you own, being dragged to a party you don't want to go to, dance to music you don't like, realizing you are also starting to dislike the friend that forced you to come, and pretending to have a good time just so said friend doesn't feel bad.

Sorry, I already made plans to make macarons with my mom.

I can't, I have to give my cat this flea bath that takes, like, six hours to set in. I can't leave her, vet's orders.

I'm really sorry, I have to go to my uncle's stepbrother's girlfriend's sister's fish's funeral that night. It was really rough on her, I have to be there to support her.

All of this to say "I'm staying home in my sweatpants and finishing the next season of 'Stranger Things'."

Panicking that you are developing social anxiety is a sign you should leave the house.

Sure, you know you should probably go out and interact with others...but that's a lot of work.

Over time, this notion starts to appear less in your mind and, when it does, it doesn't seem to bother you anymore.

So what if you haven't seen another human being in three days? So what if the only interaction you've had is with your cat? So what if you have stopped going to the door to get the pizza from the delivery guy? He can just leave it on the doorstep anyway, the bill and tip are all sitting in an envelope under the flowerpot by the door, just like the delivery note said it would.

Yeah, maybe it's time to get out and remind yourself that other people can be fun to be around. The world is a huge place, surely there's somebody that brings you the same comfort of your cozy couch.

Worrying that you are becoming a hermit is a sign that you should leave the house.

Other days you realize that your problem with the world isn't that there are so many people to interact with, but that the world has so many dangers to offer.

Why go out and risk stepping in a puddle when you know that your living room is perfectly dry and warm?

Why leave your room to get food and risk food poisoning when you can cook your own food just a few steps away from the couch?

Why go out for a walk and risk getting hit by a Greyhound bus that has decided to detour through the suburbs when you can relax on the couch until your legs go numb?

Yeah, you should probably get out of the house. For your own good.

Worrying that your family may think you are dead is a sign that you should leave the house.

Hello? Anybody home?

Of course there is! The homebody is always home!

However, that doesn't necessarily mean that you are out in common spaces of your home at any given time. Some homebodies prefer to further seclude themselves to the confines of their own bedroom for hours on end. For those of us that still live at home with our parents (for at least a small portion of the year), this tendency can be quite concerning when it has been literal days since anyone has heard from you.

Sure, they know you're home, but you haven't emerged to get food, use the bathroom, or even just cough to let them know that you are still breathing.

Rule of thumb on this one: if you have started to think they have started to expect the smell of rotting flesh emanating from your room...they probably have. You should talk to your family.

It's important to have a wide variety of "emergencies" that require you to leave early.

Nothing says classic homebody like the "please call me and make up an emergency if I'm not back by 10" text message.

Face it, none of us really like being out late. At the moment, it may be fun and nice, but you know you're going to regret it the next day. Now imagine how much you regret going out when you don't want to go in the first place. Just sitting there, pretending to have a good time while the desire to leave and put on comfortable clothes builds and builds until you reach the point of telling your friends that you have just experienced explosive diarrhea and need to leave immediately.

That's right, now that text message doesn't sound so overdramatic, does it?

Avoid FOMO at all costs.

Despite the fact that you may not love leaving the comfort of your own home, you still feel left out when you're sitting on your couch and watching your friends have a good time.

Social media has been harmful to a lot of people, but one of the lesser (albeit still painful) experiences that it has caused is FOMO, especially with homebodies.

When watching Netflix becomes a chore, you've read all of the books on your shelf, and you realize that snacking is probably not the healthiest hobby, you will ultimately turn to Instagram or Snapchat to fend off boredom. When this happens, you will ultimately find somebody that is out having fun...without you.

You start to struggle with your decision. Yes, it was your decision to stay at home instead of tagging along...but you can't help but feel left out. You want to stay in, you want to go out, you want to stay in cozy pajamas, you want to wear flashy outfits and be seen. It's hard to make up your mind, but you know you will choose to stay home every time.

Your takeout budget must be the first to go when money is tight. 

Before DoorDash, Seamless, UberEats, GrubHub, and Postmates, pizza and Chinese were pretty much your only options for takeout food.

After food ordering apps became popular, the world became your oyster (with a side of french fries.) It also became your biggest expense.

Choose wisely because your wallet and your waist will pay.

Inescapable plans inevitably induce anxiety.

Sometimes, the problem with having friends is that you never want to go out at the same time.

Even with the closest of friends, an event will come up that one party is more than ready to go to and the other would rather stay inside and play video games. Usually, the former will understand when the latter doesn't want to go out, but something will inevitably come up that neither can miss.

Generally, these are pretty important life events: weddings, funerals, the birth of a child...

You love your friend dearly, but you do not want to go with them to their cousin's wedding...even if there is cake.

Nevertheless, you suck it up and tag along because you love your friend (even when they provoke your anxiety with their social life.)

Canceled plans are always a possibility, so you must keep faith.

Inevitably, something will come up and somebody will call and say "I feel so bad, but I have to cancel tonight" at the very last minute.

Never, ever feel bad about saying this to the homebody. Nothing pleases us more than getting out of plans without any effort. Not only do you get out of going somewhere you don't want to go, but you also don't have to fight with the guilt of canceling plans yourself.

"Can we take a rain check?" Absolutely! Everybody wins!

Sometimes you need to leave your home...

...but you're too comfortable to move.