When I was little, I couldn't stand to be away from home. If I managed to muster up the bravery to spend the night at a friend's, I would inevitably start crying within an hour and call home ASAP. Usually talking to my mom was enough to console me but, occasionally, I would call it quits and begged to be picked up. As I grew older, the homesickness faded but never quite vanished altogether. I expected to struggle with homesickness (with good reason) after transferring to CCU last year, but it strangely wasn't an issue at all. I think I was ready for a change, as that is one reason I decided to transfer to a university out-of-state: for a change of scenery. I was tired of California and honestly couldn't wait to leave my home state. But, that's just it-- it will always be home. It has required being away from it to actually make me appreciate it. Things that once drove me crazy are now things that I dearly miss. They say you never know what you've got til it's gone and is that ever true!
Earlier this week I was thinking of home and how much I miss it, but this was different than my accustomed homesickness. I think I was understanding exactly what the start of a new chapter in my life means. With the rest of my family also experiencing new changes in life, I've realized that I will probably never live in my hometown again and will never sleep in my childhood room again. In a sense, it almost felt like mourning a loss in order to move forward. But this is sounding a lot more depressing than I mean it to be!
I'm so thankful to have a house to miss, to have such a supportive, loving family no matter where I go, and to have such a special place in my heart that I call home. It may sound a bit childish, but growing up can be a tough transition. Sometimes I miss the simpler days of being a kid (and less responsibility!) and seeing my friends from home every day at school or church. Sometimes my heart aches for the way things were and I think it's totally okay to reminisce, reflect, and remember when. It's made me cherish all those fun memories and special friendships that all began back home.
Change is a part of life, even though it's not always easy. And change doesn't mean leaving everything behind in the past. It simply means that new things are to come, just like the changing on the seasons. Such a change is necessary, healthy, and natural. Home is so much more than four walls and I will always carry it with me wherever I go; everything that used to be will always be part of me. I'm so glad that I miss home because that means I miss something meaningful and somewhere worthwhile. It inspires me to make wherever I end up feel like home: a place to make new memories and to cherish old ones.
Home, I miss you so.