For those who attend a small school, you know that when literally anything happens, it affects everyone. The more serious or harmful the event, the larger the ripple effect throughout campus and the more intense the conversation and ramifications that follow.

All of these are amplified with the use of social media. Nothing we do is private, especially the things we don’t think others will ever see. Our sense of privacy on any social media platform is a complete illusion: shares, likes, retweets and even message screenshots can be sent through cyberspace in the blink of an eye. To that end, when we want people to see something, our generation knows exactly what to do: tweet it, put it on Snapchat or share it on Facebook.

Most of the time, sharing something is a mindless event. Whether it’s an article, GIF, meme, or somebody else’s post, there is little chance we actually put the post on trial for its merits. Specifically, whether it’s worth sharing and what the effects on your friends or followers will be.

I will be the first to admit that I have made countless mistakes on social media. I’ve liked the wrong thing, shared something stupid, made a dumb joke, engaged in inane conversations and pointless arguments, I probably have offended many people along the way, but I've also stood up to things I disagreed with or didn't like. Nine times out of ten, none of the previous items end well on Facebook or on Twitter.

I will let psychologists give you more scientific reasons for why, but I've noticed that social media allows us to be the worst kind of warrior. We can hide behind our computer or phone screens while we say derogatory and offensive comments to our friends in an echo chamber or act as bystanders who do not speak up. We can hide behind our computer or phone screens and take screenshots and send them to our friends. We can hide behind our screens and feign being an ally by sharing a socially relevant post, and then check the box that says “Stood up to ignorance today."

We can hide and we can hide but we all have to answer for what we say and what we do. I will answer for what I have said and what I have done.

I will never excuse the dumb words of individuals. I will never defend hate speech. But I will not stop sharing one piece of advice and my sincerest plea with all of those who will listen: if you accept that love is love, then you must also accept that hate is hate.

I know what hatred is. Not only have I seen it directed at other people, but I have seen it directed at myself and I have felt it in my heart. I know what it is like to give into feelings of hatred and anger and to let those feelings fly at any object that dares to get in my way. I learned a long time ago that anger and hatred are wasted emotions that will kill you slowly from the inside if you do not put them into use for activism, education, or turning it into positive energy that others can benefit from.

I’m saying this from my personal experiences. Your experiences may be different, and that’s okay.

Some of the most vile and clear acts of hatred that I have seen from our generation occurred on social media. I have witnessed, been complicit in, been a victim of, and committed acts of cyber-bullying. I will own up to my own faults and the mistakes that I wish I could take back but that I know I can’t.

Every time someone says something stupid, mean, offensive, or cruel, somebody gets hurt. Every. Single. Time. That is, unfortunately, the name of the game. I learned or thought I learned my lesson with social media a long time ago. Things that become personal on Facebook turn into real pain. I’ve seen that pain in the tears of my friends. I’ve seen that pain in my own bathroom mirror. I’ve seen that pain at candlelit vigils for those who thought it was too much to bear. I see that pain every day.

No one is deserving of that pain. No one. I say this unequivocally with full knowledge of the evil that lies in this world and in human hearts. But we have no right to ever make anyone fear for their safety. We have no right to make anyone contemplate ending their own life. We have no right, even against those who made us feel those things. Especially against those who made us feel those things, because then we are just as guilty as they are.

If we do claim that right, then the vicious cycle of vitriol and intolerance will never end. There is no end-game with these conversations, even the ones that started off with the most educational of purposes. Actually, I do have proof of these events coming to a resolve in the form of memorial pamphlets and nightly news stories of someone who we didn't need to lose.

I titled this article "Holding Up a Mirror." I use that title because each of us needs to do this regularly. If you would like, this can be an item on your self-care to-do list. Look at yourself. Ask yourself what your goal is. What is the purpose of every action you take? Am I fulfilling this purpose? Have I hurt others? Am I holding myself to lower standards that I am holding others to?

We all need time for self-reflection. We should never hold others up to higher standards than ourselves. None of our hands are clean. We have all made mistakes and will continue to make them - that is what humanity looks like to me. We just need to make sure that we don’t ever become the very thing we are calling out or fighting against.

We have to stand up to hate, and we have to try and not become it. If we fail, then hate wins. Hate cannot win.