My body challenges have been something I've always dealt with, as most of us have. I had an eating disorder my freshman year of high school and it was one of the hardest parts of my life. I needed control and it was something that shaped who I am. Regardless, a lot has happened since I eventually got over those really bad eating and workout habits.

I learned to love my body for what it does and love everything about it. Within the past few years, I've really learned to love it and not care. Maybe this was bad because it caused me to neglect working out, but I wasn't worrying about every calorie and looking at my thighs hating myself. God made me 5'11" and gave me some long legs and big hips. I can't change what I was born with, and I sure as heck am not going to try to cover it all up with every worry of how people will look at me. I really didn't care if people saw me eating at an event or the amount I was eating, and I shouldn't have to make excuses for being hungry. I'm not saying that you should abuse your body or not consider it a temple, because the things you put into it are important. But what I am saying is that you shouldn't worry how people view your body. You shouldn't worry about the tags in your clothes because as cheesy as this sounds, if you feel good in what you're wearing, it actually doesn't matter. So long are the days of every girl trying to be a size two (ummm, I'm not sure if I’ve ever fit into any size two in my life), because if it ain't flattering on you, go up or down a size. It’s about how you look and feel.

The day I learned to love my body and all that it was capable of was the best day. I don't know when it happened or if it was gradual, but that acceptance and general attitude of not caring if I was at the lower end of a 10-pound range is the best.

And then I went through a hard time (a.k.a. a breakup....classic) and lost my appetite for a few days. I knew it wasn't good for me to not have eaten anything, but I knew it would eventually return. Inevitably, though, I lost weight and looked thinner.

I was so caught up in what I was dealing with that yes, I noticed I was thin, but it didn't bother me because I knew I was going to gain the couple of pounds back at some point. Then I went to an event, wearing a more fitted dress that wasn't as snug as it had been before. Two of my friends told me that I looked "hot and like a goddess" and I thanked them, though I'm pretty sure they only told me this because they knew what I was going through. Then at the end, another friend, one who I've shared weight concerns with, told me I looked "so skinny..." and I thanked her. Isn't that every girl's dream? To be told they look skinny? Doesn't every girl consider a weight loss as a good thing, even if it wasn't necessary? Don't we all equate "skinny" with "beautiful"?

I thanked her because it seemed like it was the only thing I knew to say right then, but she didn't know how hurt and upset I was feeling on the inside at the time. It wasn't her comment that bothered me, but the fact that she thought I was comforted by the fact that I was skinny. She didn't know that my skinniness was only due to a really sad point where I physically could not eat anything. Yet I thanked her, because thin is supposed to mean pretty. I considered it the same sort of compliment as when my two friends told me I looked good, when really, it shouldn't be the same thing at all.

And when I mowed the lawn the next night, I could feel my hip bones hitting against the lawn mower. I know it's an odd reflection, but I'm a big girl. I don't normally feel my hip bones, so pushing that lawn mower, still in the dumps, it was a low point. Hip bones don't mean anything, no matter what some Tumblr or Twitter fitspo account tells you. My hip bones resembled the dolefulness I was feeling at the time and not anything positive. While some yearn for those extruding hip bones, I could only feel sad about them.

We women have become accustomed to a norm that if you're thin, you're beautiful, and automatically happy. "If only I were thin and pretty would I be happy" is a constant phrase we throw around and agree with. It's easy to look at thin women and think about how much easier their lives must be... but because they're thin?

It sickens me to think this, and I only share this because I've thought it before, too. It was legitimately the reason I had an eating disorder, and I'm just so thankful that I'm long past that and past the appetite loss because I can see how weird of a feeling that was. The fact that we automatically translate "skinny" to "pretty" only encourages the feelings that cause eating disorders and messed up mindsets.

I want to emphasize that I know all women are of all shapes and sizes. I know that some are naturally thin and some aren't, but every woman is beautiful. I don't want this to come across as if I'm bashing thin women, because I know that some people’s hip bones are naturally like that and there are plenty of beautiful women that are thin. Thin and curvy and bigger and smaller are all beautiful. All we need to do is make sure that we’re not confusing the line between compliments of “you’re so thin” and “you’re so pretty.” Of course we need to tell each other we’re pretty now and then, but when we start to differentiate a simple quality of someone’s body from beauty, that’s where poor mindsets come into play.

And hey, I think you’re all pretty hot and all look like goddesses.