Last week, Beyoncé took the world by storm by releasing her visual album “Lemonade” on HBO. There’s been countless jokes, pictures and theories about the album’s themes, though it’s safe to say that everyone knows that the album is about Jay-Z cheating on Beyoncé. The lyric under the most speculation, though, is, “He better call Becky with the good hair,” from the song “Sorry”. Who is this mysterious Becky? Does she really have good hair? If Jay-Z would cheat on Beyoncé, are any of us safe from our significant others committing adultery?
The internet blew up with theories on who the enigmatic "Becky with the good hair" is. Some believe it’s Rachel Roy (though celebrity chef, Rachael Ray, and comedian/actor, Ray Romano, received backlash because people don’t know how to spell), and others think it’s singer Rita Ora. However, I have reasons to believe that "Becky with the good hair" is none other than presidential candidate, Hillary Clinton.
Crazy, I know. Just stick with me, okay?
Back in 2015, Clinton and her team paid a visit to Jay-Z’s club in New York City 40/40 and reportedly spent $15,000 at the club on “food, drinks and catering.” Where was Beyoncé during all of this? At home with Blue as her husband got his freak on with our next possible President of the United States?
Here’s what I believe happened on that October night: Hillary and her crew strutted into the club, Hillary in her best pantsuit and her crew (or squad, if you will), in coordinating outfits because that’s the way that Big H rolls. The crowd parts for the Female Moses as she walks through the club. “Trap Queen” is bumping through the speakers because Jay knew Hillary was making an appearance tonight and he wanted her to know that she’s his trap queen. Finally, Jay sees her across the room. He can smell her perfume from the other side of the club— she smells distinctly of Feminism and Trying-Too-Hard. He pushes past his hypemen and club hoes to get to her and they meet in the middle of the dance floor. He takes one of his large hands and runs it through her hair. He says “You have such good hair, Hillary.” “Call me Becky, Jay,” Hillary whispers, somehow, in the middle of the club. They run off together to drink and feed each other exotic foods that Hillary has never tried before, like salsa and tacos. “It’s so spicy,” she says as she bites into her soft chicken taco. “Not as spicy as you, Becky,” Jay replies, and even though the club is dark as shit, he can tell that she’s blushing. She giggles. They kiss. End of story.
But, that’s all speculation, of course.
However, it was also reported that Kanye West, one of Jay-Z’s good friends, donated to Hillary’s campaign and even took a selfie with her with his wife, Kim Kardashian. He infamously defended Beyoncé at the 2009 VMA’s and he made an entire album with Jay-Z entitled “Watch the Throne.” That being said, it’s also been reported that the two couples have been on the rocks the past couple of months, so allow me to expand on my previous theory.
Mere hours before Hillary and Jay’s encounter, Hillary receives a call from Yeezus himself. “What’s up, Yeezy?” She says, as she’s hip with the times. “Yo, Hil, I gotta ask a favor from you. My album, "SWISH/Waves/The Life of Pablo" is finally dropping in February but I know that Bey is dropping hers in April,” Kanye explains and Hillary knows that he’s gesticulating like a crazy man. “What do you need from me?” she asks. (She already knew this information because, duh). “As much as I love Bey, I can’t let my album flop because of hers. You gotta infiltrate her life and hit her where it hurts to distract her from her creative process and in return, I’ll donate stacks to your campaign,” Kanye said and Hillary was silent. “You still there, Hil?” he asked after a few moments of complete silence from the other side of the phone. “I’m going to Benghazi this bitch.” And with that, the deal was done.
Again, all speculation.
However, what really drove me to believe this theory was when Hillary took her and Jay’s relationship public when she was seen head-bopping her head to his song “Empire State of Mind” at one of her rallies.
Though I don’t know how Queen B found out about Hillary and Jay’s infidelities, or how Bill is taking the news, I can say with great certainty that Hillary Clinton is "Becky with the good hair."
