This is a little something I put together to help everyone procrastinate even more. Enjoy!

1. No sleep.

This week, you’re going to be up way past your bedtime every night. Your circadian rhythm is going to be all out of whack. Don’t focus on getting that full 8 hours. You might only get 8 hours total the whole week.

2. Coffee is the only thing that keeps you functioning.

Starbucks. Dunkin' Donuts. Seattle’s Best. Mcdonald’s. You won’t care. You won’t be picky about where you get it from anymore. You’ll go to the first place you see that has a poster of coffee beans hanging in the window. Your sweat will smell like hazelnuts. If Ramen is the bread of college students, Coffee is the wine.

3. You become bored between exams.

Now that you don’t have classes from 9 to 3, you’re going to have a lot more free time on your hands. This shouldn’t be too much of an issue because it gives you more time to study. We all know that means you’re really going to be procrastinating on writing papers, studying and of course… packing.

4. Going straight from a 3 to a 7, then back again.

We’ve all been there. We’re either going to be so stressed that we’ll have a breakdown, or we’re going to be so over everything that the thought of failing actually becomes hilarious.

5. When someone mentions that you look stressed out.

"Really? That's funny. I only have three exams, two papers and a presentation due this week. Actually, I'm quite relaxed right now, thank you very much."

6. Research papers.

These will be the death of you, if nothing else kills you first. Chances are, you haven’t stepped foot in the library since last semester, and you have no idea where to find anything. Then, when you find something with what you’re looking for mentioned in the title, you still have to read the whole darn book to see if anything in it is actually useful. You spend so much time looking for sources that “research” should count as its own credit for this course.

7. Late night study sessions.

You can invite all your good friends over for a study session, but you know it’s going to turn into learning how to do a group dance from Beyonce’s latest video.

8. Cramming.

When you realize you’ve procrastinated too much and you’re overwhelmed with information, it's not too late. Just take a deep breath, open that notebook, down that Redbull and do what you do best: cram.

9. Wondering why you even picked this major in the first place.

If you thought taking the Praxis sophomore year was stressful, you clearly haven’t written your teacher candidacy yet. Try being an English major writing a philosophical paper on who Shakespeare even is. Is this senior capstone project even worth it? Just why?

10. Losing count of the number of times you think of dropping out and becoming a stripper.

Let’s be honest. if you haven’t considered the possibilities of prostitution yet, then you should probably look into it. Or, at least think about looking into it.

11. Packing.

On top of all the papers you’re writing and tests you’re studying for, you still have to figure out how you’re going to fit all of your stuff into your little sedan. When it actually comes time for packing, it’s like playing Tetris in your trunk.

12. Facetiming Mom and having to pretend that everything is okay.

“Yeah, I did really great on my presentation today, Mom. No, I haven't been drinking."

13. Alcohol.

Whether it’s in celebration for destroying a test, or motivation to get stuff done, it’ll probably be there at some point this week. Just don't show up to your chemistry exam completely hammered.

14. Completely improvising a presentation and hoping the professor doesn’t notice.

“I didn’t even realize I put the same thing on two slides so I could reach the slide count. Oops. Anyway, moving on. So Plato was best known for his Greek philosophy…"

15. When your professor says the final will be entirely multiple choice.

“Thank. The. Lord. Sweet. Jesus. ‘Cause. There’s. No. Way. In. Hakuna. I’m. Remembering. All. Of. This."

16. But then you sit down and see the questions.

"I thought this was anatomy, not music theory. Why are we learning about cymbal rhythms? Oh! that says 'circadian rhythms.' Oops. Yeah, I still don't know what that means. Dear sweet Jesus, I did not study any of this."

17. Anxiety of waiting for grades to be posted.

If your professor posts grades before the end of the week, it’s either relieving, or another thing to add to the overflowing stress pile. You’ve been refreshing the page so much, your fingers are starting to go numb.

18. When you walk out of the classroom early knowing you aced that test.

There’s nothing as triumphant as that feeling you get after completing a test and knowing you did well. You’ve set some pretty high standards for yourself, and you’ve gone above and beyond them. Props to you.

19. Best of luck to you!

No matter what gets thrown your way this finals week, just remember that you are the ultimate warrior. Highly-functioning sociopath or not, you got this.

P.S. If you're looking for some good study music, you can always check out the Sherlock Soundtrack.