Growing up, I always loved to watch romantic comedies. From "10 Things I Hate About You" to "50 First Dates," I've pretty much seen half of the movies under the genre on Netflix. I think part of the reason I've always loved romantic comedies is the fact that they gave me something to look forward to. They made me excited to one day fall in love and be enthusiastic about someone.
As a young girl, I had no idea that my romantic life would be anything like the way that it is today.
In movies, relationships seem to be perfect and old-fashioned. Every date seemed as though it was the most magical experience to ever happen. The night always ends with the guy walking the girl to the door and kissing her goodnight before they fall in love and live happily ever after. Yet I can't name a single person I know in real life who has been taken on a real date in the past six months unless they were already in a relationship.
I've always wondered why the movies portrayed relationships in such a false matter. When watching movies, it's not uncommon for me to look at what is happening on the screen and think "as if" or "that would never really happen." However, the things that happen on the screen really do happen and have happened in the past. I, as well as many other people, have just become so used to accepting the bare minimum amount of work in relationships that it seems odd or unrealistic for anything extraordinary to happen with a significant other. As sad as it is to say, it is not uncommon in 2019 to have no expectations when going into a relationship.
The relationship bar today is literally six feet underground.
Just a few weeks ago, a boy who my friend had gone out to eat with opened the door for her as she got out of the car to go inside her house. After that, she FaceTimed me and we talked about how kind he was for two hours straight when he did nothing more than open a door. Yet because our expectations are so low, we thought it was the biggest deal.
For some reason, we have instilled it in our heads that if you lower your expectations, you won't be disappointed. However, that couldn't be further from the truth.
Lowering your expectations out of fear of disappointment only sets you up to be displeased with the relationship you are in. In a relationship, you should be encouraging each other to grow and become better versions of yourselves. If you are with somebody who isn't making you feel as though you are changing for the better, you will have trouble feeling at peace.
The moment we as individuals decide to become complacent with our relationships and settle for less than we deserve is the moment we begin to become our own biggest barriers.
If somebody is not meeting your standards, you don't have to continue a relationship with them! Don't get into a relationship just for the sake of being a relationship. Although at times being single can feel lonely, it is so important to make sure the connections you have with people are genuine and for the right reasons because if they aren't, it will be destructive in the end.
Everything takes time. You will find somebody one day who is everything you've been looking for and more.
Don't settle for someone who doesn't appreciate you for all you are and accept you for all you are not. Don't settle for someone who holds you back when the reason you were put on this earth was to branch out and grow. Don't settle for being treated poorly. You are a human, not just a thing for someone to have available to them when they feel like it. You should be treated with respect and appreciation at all times. You should feel as though you are loved.
Stop letting the relationship bar sit on the floor, it's time to pick it up.
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