I know how this sounds, "boo-hoo the poor smart kid isn't so smart anymore." But listen, this sucks. A lot.
I am so thankful that high school was not a huge struggle for me. This allowed me to be involved in countless extracurriculars while maintaining a fairly high GPA and sleeping 6-8 hours a night. It's not like I was taking easy classes though either. My senior year I had two AP classes each semester plus a college dual enrollment. When it came time for actual college, I thought I was set.
Boy was I wrong.
I'm sure this goes without saying but college life is very different from high school life. Classes are less often with four times as many students. Professors don't always take attendance or even care to know your name. And there is so much empty space in your schedule it's hard to know how to make the best use of your time.
Since I didn't really struggle with my high school classes, I never learned how to properly study. I could get by just learning test subject to test subject without really absorbing any information. Heck, I made it through AP Lit without fully reading a single book. Unfortunately, that doesn't fly here.
I am completely and utterly overwhelmed with the amount of school work I have and what little time I feel as though I have to complete it all. This also pretty much goes without saying but nursing school is no walk in the park. But, every major has their tough spots and tough classes so I'm sure every student feels like this at some point.
I let my pride of being a successful high school student get in the way of asking for the help I really need. I never wanted to admit that I didn't understand something or couldn't accomplish something on my own because I never had to do that before. I have never walked into a lecture before and wondered if I was in the wrong class because I was so completely lost on the subject matter.
Mostly, I never wanted others to look down upon me or for my parents to feel disappointed in me. I know no one will look down upon me and I know my parents would never be disappointed in me for doing my best work- but the thought is still there. I am so utterly afraid of failure that I, ironically, have allowed myself to almost fail classes.
But no more. Asking for help is nothing to be ashamed of and- news flash- just because you got a 4.0 in high school doesn't mean you'll get there in college. I am now proud to say that I have a tutor and I am forever thankful for their helpfulness and patience with my scattered brain. I'm no longer afraid to go to office hours or email professors with the simplest questions. There is no room to be proud in nursing school- thank God I realized that before it was too late.