Ah, the crazy sensation known as the crush.
By now, most of us have crushed on someone at some point or other. In fact, up until the past six months or so, I have never gone more than a few weeks without crushing hard on a guy, be he real or fictional. And it's been a ride, let me tell you.
I'm beginning to notice something, though: The crushing scene is WAY different in college than it was in high school. The first time it hit me, I found myself ill-prepared for the situation. Especially considering the fact that I go to a tiny, Christian private school where marriage is just a way of life. Consequently, hormones run high here.
I decided to break down the differences into two of my favorite Disney movies from the past ten years. I chose these particular ones because they are often compared and contrasted themselves.
For high school crushes, we have:
Frozen!
Because it's cute and adorable.
And on college's side, we've got:
Moana!
Yeah. You're welcome.
1. Discovering the new feelings.
High School:
You're so flipping excited!
College:
I CAN'T HAVE FEELINGS! I'M TOO STRESSED TO HAVE FEELINGS!
2. Confessing it to your best friend... maybe.
High School:
Once again, you're flipping excited.
College:
I need no comment.
3. And their reaction:
High School:
They're totally on board with this!
College:
Are they excited for you? Yes. Do they know what to do with you in your insanity? No.
4. The daydreaming begins...
High School:
Ahhhh....
College:
Maui is your subconscious. Moana is you telling your subconscious to pull itself together.5. But actually talking to the human in question is something altogether different.
High School:
You kind of wave awkwardly from a distance.
College:
You're supposed to be an adult, dang it! Soooo you simply go up and make a complete fool of yourself.
6. The fallout afterward...
High School:
Made eye contact! PROGRESS!
College:
Specifically the "what is wrong with me" part.
7. And then there's the next week.
High School:
You scope out any chance to talk to your beloved.
College:
You're an adult, dang it! So naturally you cheerfully run as far as possible in the opposite direction.
8. Occasionally, this thing is relatively short-lived.
High School:
Anna is your love. Your love is freezing solid. This is, for some unknown reason, tragic and will cause you at least another three weeks of angst.
College:
You are now, of course, smart enough to say, "PRAISE JESUS, IT PASSED!"
9. But sometimes it doesn't.
High School:
Your honeymoon phase isn't over yet, is it? Just wait, honey.
College:
If it's survived this long, you're actually beginning to contemplate the possibility of acting on your feelings... Again.
10. So now you try talking to them again.
High School:
Actually, nope. You're still just creepily watching from a distance.
College:
So, yes, you're on your guard after last time, but at least it can't be worse!
11. You could...actually date this person.
High School:
"Wait! I'm fifteen! I'm not ready for commitment!"
You should be saying. Most often, you don't.
College, however:
Bring. It. On.
12. Outcome #1: They feel the same way.
High School:
Aw. Now you're all, like, dating and stuff.
College:
Joy, rapture and ecstasy!
13. You date. And things are wonderful.
High School:
Isn't this GREAT?
College:
Have you found the rare gem known commonly as "The One"?
14. Nope. Honeymoon phase is officially over.
High School:
That was quick and brutal. What, you found out they aren't perfect?
College:
Either you have your first fight or you just move on past the lovey-dovey phase. Either way, it's slightly LESS dramatic and slightly MORE expected.
Now, let me explain something. This is a bit of a choose your own adventure. If you wish the happy ending, read on. If you desire otherwise, continue on to #18.
15. But you decide to move through it.
High School:
I mean, we're in love.
College:
Regardless of the risks, you're in it for the long haul.
16. And no matter the end result, you'll be okay.
Because, from what I see, those who make it past the honeymoon phase, even upon breaking up, part at least amicably.
High School:
College:
17. Wedding bells may even chime.
High School:
Yeah, never mind. Don't think on the matter for at least another few years.
College:
Shiny. Just like that ring.
18. Outcome #2: Or they might smash your heart.
High School:
Into thousands of tiny pieces.
College:
Off the Love Boat you go.
19. This is what the moving on phase looks like.
High School:
Your heart is entirely frozen.
College:
Whatever volatile emotion it is, it's happening.
20. Your friends have one of two reactions.
He gets Silent Treatment:
They no longer exist.
Or...
They're going to die.
21. Dramatically you wonder whether you'll ever move on.
High School:
This is you, stroking the cardboard cutout you have of them.
College:
This is usually where you throw yourself into something as a distraction.
22. But you finally are okay.
High School:
In the meantime, eat lots of cake.
College:
You're a strong, independent demigod, who don't need no hook.
Disclaimer: Boys I liked in high school, I never actually had cardboard cutouts of you. Don't panic.
