After discovering myself in regards to my sexuality, I began to think of ways to embrace who I am. Then, I realized that I can't fully come out to everyone. Obviously, my family and friends know I am a member of the LGBTQ+ community and identify along the spectrum. My co-workers, on the other hand, don't.
The reason why I am scared to be myself at work is that most of the people I work with are judgmental, and like to gossip. The last thing I need is to have coworkers look and treat me differently. Just to be clear, I am not judgmental and I don't know if anyone who works there is a member of the community. After working there for a few months and had gotten a feel of how each person reacts to things, the best thing I can do without being judged or be treated differently is to hide it.
To be honest, it hurts to hide who I am at a place where I don't feel safe being who I am.
Just recently, I was working and I heard some of my coworkers talk about people who are transgender, and it infuriated me because they were laughing while they were talking about them. I honestly wanted to say something, but I didn't want them to criticize me for defending the transgender community. One thing I didn't want to happen was my coworkers digging into my life and asking million-and-one questions about myself. It's bad enough that they get on me for being quiet.
Like everyone else who wasn't part of the conversation, I continued working until it was my time to go home.
After thinking back on how they were talking about what people call the transgender community in different locations of the world, I imagined what my coworkers would say or do if they found out I identified as homoflexible, let alone finding out that I am a member of the community.
Of course, my family and friends are supportive and love me for who I am, no matter what I identify as. It's the coworkers at my job I am being cautious of.
So to prevent myself from being treated differently, I hide any and all signs that I am a part of the community. I stopped wearing anything that is in relation to the LGBTQ+ community, made sure no one notices the home screen on my phone, and don't post anything on Instagram in regards to the community since I have two people from work who follow my account.
I will continue to do this until I work for a different company who is LGBTQ+ friendly in their office, and until I know that I am safe being myself around people who are not judgmental of who I am (inside and out).
I just wonder one thing: why do people judge others if that same person wouldn't like being judged about something in relation to them?
