Hey Now Love,
What you're doing to yourself isn't exactly fair to yourself. I know you're in a dark place right now, but if you cannot see the light yet still within yourself, then how will you ever find your way out of the darkness?
Pick up painting again.. I know you love to paint. Your skin is so so so tired. Your skin keeps trying to heal, but you're continuously carving into your skin what you cannot put into words. Your skin is beautiful. Hopefully someday soon you will feel comfortable and confident in it.
Put the mirror in your closet...I know you want to be noticed by the pretty boys at school (which is coming up sooner than we'd like to acknowledge), but your appearance is only one element to being attractive. You have such little control over your appearance, whereas you can choose to be anyone imaginable on the inside. Share your thoughts, passions, and questions. Your mind is beautiful. How you treat others is beautiful. Your heart is beautiful. So when you look in that mirror, you may see what you view to be "imperfections", but can the mirror see your heart and mind? No.
Push away those that don't treat you as you deserve to be treated... You push yourself through unneeded toxic relationships in hopes of things working out or getting better. Ditch the friends that talk about you behind your back. Ditch the boy that isn't committed enough to form a relationship with you, but will use you to feel good about himself. Ditch the ideas of who you wan to associate yourself with and DO. Don't be afraid to sit with someone different at lunch. When you get assigned to a new seat in class, take the opportunity to be forcefully surrounded by people you usually wouldn't talk to otherwise, and see what you have in common with them. You'd be surprised which strangers seem as if you've known them all along.
Build or reform that strong foundation of love and support. Because sometimes we don't exactly have it within ourselves to stay strong, so we depend on others. We are all guilty of this.
When you are swarmed with love, because one of your friend told the rest of your friend group that they were concerned about you, know that they meant well. They simply didn't know what to do, and wanted you to be okay. What an amazing friend in fact!!
You are so loved. Call a friend when you need the comfort of a familiar voice or encouraging words. Hug one of your parents, because they hurt for you too. Go for a walk and admire the way the sun peaks through the clouds. Take a bath and soak in the luxury of hot water and bubbles. Write a note to someone because you know how great it feels to be noticed.
Whatever it is that you need, know that you are deserving of.
Because Love, I hope that you can one day love yourself too.
