Hey Now, Love, That Isn't Fair To Yourself

Hey Now, Love, That Isn't Fair To Yourself

I know you're in a dark place right now, but if you cannot see the light yet still within yourself, then how will you ever find your way out of the darkness?

Hey Now Love,

What you're doing to yourself isn't exactly fair to yourself. I know you're in a dark place right now, but if you cannot see the light yet still within yourself, then how will you ever find your way out of the darkness?

Pick up painting again.. I know you love to paint. Your skin is so so so tired. Your skin keeps trying to heal, but you're continuously carving into your skin what you cannot put into words. Your skin is beautiful. Hopefully someday soon you will feel comfortable and confident in it.

Put the mirror in your closet...I know you want to be noticed by the pretty boys at school (which is coming up sooner than we'd like to acknowledge), but your appearance is only one element to being attractive. You have such little control over your appearance, whereas you can choose to be anyone imaginable on the inside. Share your thoughts, passions, and questions. Your mind is beautiful. How you treat others is beautiful. Your heart is beautiful. So when you look in that mirror, you may see what you view to be "imperfections", but can the mirror see your heart and mind? No.

Push away those that don't treat you as you deserve to be treated... You push yourself through unneeded toxic relationships in hopes of things working out or getting better. Ditch the friends that talk about you behind your back. Ditch the boy that isn't committed enough to form a relationship with you, but will use you to feel good about himself. Ditch the ideas of who you wan to associate yourself with and DO. Don't be afraid to sit with someone different at lunch. When you get assigned to a new seat in class, take the opportunity to be forcefully surrounded by people you usually wouldn't talk to otherwise, and see what you have in common with them. You'd be surprised which strangers seem as if you've known them all along.

Build or reform that strong foundation of love and support. Because sometimes we don't exactly have it within ourselves to stay strong, so we depend on others. We are all guilty of this.

When you are swarmed with love, because one of your friend told the rest of your friend group that they were concerned about you, know that they meant well. They simply didn't know what to do, and wanted you to be okay. What an amazing friend in fact!!

You are so loved. Call a friend when you need the comfort of a familiar voice or encouraging words. Hug one of your parents, because they hurt for you too. Go for a walk and admire the way the sun peaks through the clouds. Take a bath and soak in the luxury of hot water and bubbles. Write a note to someone because you know how great it feels to be noticed.

Whatever it is that you need, know that you are deserving of.

Because Love, I hope that you can one day love yourself too.

Cover Image Credit: Lori Oxford

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To the girl who left us behind

You may have thought that it was best for you, but in reality you were only helping us

To the girl who left us behind,

I graduated in 2017. Nearly one year ago. When you graduate you expect to stay in touch with some people, but you accept that there are some people who you will probably never see again, let alone talk to. After walking across the stage, getting my diploma and attending all of the graduation parties I said goodbye to some people, forever, without even knowing it.

For almost as long as I can remember I have had three best friends. We were practically inseparable since 6th or 7th grade. It was rare that you would see one of us without at least one or two others around. We spent weekends at each others houses, played on the same sports teams, joined the same clubs, and practically did everything together. The boys that we would hang out with would make fun of us because they noticed it seemed to them that we couldn’t do anything without the others. It wasn’t that we couldn’t do anything alone, we just enjoyed being around each other, we were best friends.

That was until we graduated. We were best four best friends until we walked across the stage, said our goodbyes after the final graduation party and parted ways as we went to college. It didn’t even take until college to see who was really my friends of the four of us, it was less than a week before I never heard from one of my so called best friends ever again. And for this, I could not be more thankful.

In our group of four there was always a clear line, two and two. I loved the other two girls but I was always just better friends with one girl. It had been like this for forever, and everyone knew it, not just us. But once we graduated it became extremely true. But it didn’t break two and two. It was one and three. And this was sad and frustrating at first, and then ended up being a great thing, for all of us.

Nearly 9 months without talking and I knew all hope for the friendship was gone once i saw she tweeted ‘my biggest glow up feature in college was my friends’. At the time yes, this pissed me off. I texted my other friends as soon as I saw it and sad things like “I don’t know what is worse, that we were great friends and put up with her shit. Or that we still sat in that house last week, were the bigger people and acted like nothing ever happened even though we all know we don’t talk to her anymore.” The amount of time I spent with this girl, the amount of secrets of mine she held, the amount of late night memories we shared and there was nothing, no explanation, no final goodbye. Just complete silence. There was that tweet which made it pretty clear she had no interest in being friends with us anymore.

But it made me a better person. I realized that the entire time we had been friends she was tearing me down. She was killing my happiness and I never even noticed it. Our relationship was a toxic one and she did me the biggest favor in the world by cutting me off, because I was afraid to do it myself.

She thinks her biggest ‘glow up’ was her friends. And knowing her, that is probably exactly what she believes. But that is NOT mine. My biggest glow up was growing up, realizing my worth and surrounding myself with people who truly care about me and radiate positivity. And I am thankful and blessed that the people I have surrounded myself with now continue to be with me through this entire process. I am continuing to learn everyday that people who make you feel like you’re not worth anything are never worth your time. I have grown and realized that you can give someone one million chances, you can give them all of your time and love and compassion and understanding. But if they don’t want it or they think they are to good for it than you are better off being left on read, or completely left behind. AND THAT IS OK.


The girl who is finally happy now that you're gone

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5 Thoughts You Have During Big/Little Week

Where are all of these gifts coming from?

Big/Little week can be an exciting, but stressful week for anyone involved. Not only are you dying to know who your big is, but to top it off, it seems like everyone else knows except you.

Despite how many times you ask, your roommates will not tell you who has been coming in your room every day to drop off fantastic gifts. Every gift you recieve is carefully examined for any clues hinting at who is going be your big in one short week.

No matter how many times you hope you’ll catch the mysterious sorority sister in your room, she is always too quick to end up in the same place as you.

1. Who is this random Facebook page that requested me?

Why are there pictures of me from middle school throwing up a peace sign with a bunch of ridiculous stickers attached? Which of my friends is gathering these awful pictures and sending them in just to spite me?

3. Are these hints legit?

Is it possible that my big has a dog? Yes. Is it possible that she has 2 brothers? Yes. Is it possible that she is related to Zac Efron? Probably not.

4. When is she coming next?

Have they already dropped off gifts? Did they bring more snacks? Will I get better hints? The walk back to the dorm from classes is one of the most agonizing times.

5. Who is it?

I still have yet to learn how to sit through a class without thinking about my big instead of focusing on my class. Thankfully this process is only a week or I might have to redo this semester.

Cover Image Credit: https://pixabay.com/en/people-celebration-festival-party-3154439/

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