So a good while ago, somewhere on the Internet (truthfully, I'm fairly certain it was a Tumblr post on Pinterest), there was conversation talking about the brain. These people were saying that the brain perceived itself as ugly, that it was repulsed by itself. Naturally, someone pointed out this is because if we can see a brain, there's generally something very wrong.
We are meant to be self-aware creatures. What makes humans unique from other creatures is that we have verbal communication. We think for ourselves and communicate those thoughts with the rest of the group.
And beauty is a social construct. No other creature on earth cares about beauty, not when you get down to it. At the end of the day what other animals care about is which mate gives them a better chance at survival and reproduction. Way back in the day, being tan or thin meant you were a worker which meant you were poor which meant you weren't a good mate. You were better off being heavier set with pale skin. Whaaaat?
Standards change as people do. If you've ever read books by Alex Flinn, you actually see the change in A Kiss in Time, a modern remake of Sleeping Beauty. Talia (Aurora) is given the gift of beauty but those standards had changed when she woke up, much to her father's distress when he sees her. He didn't understand that "beauty" had changed so his daughter's "beauty" changed too. Society creates these ideas of what looks good for us and we are expected to follow.
A girl on Bustle did an experiment with her wardrobe in 2014 and recorded the responses she got from a dating website as well as people that actually knew her. What she got back is pretty indicative of "Don't judge a book by its cover." We shouldn't but we do.
Marilyn Monroe studied literature and had a library in her own home. Would you expect that of a sex symbol? And as successful as she was in her movies, she didn't believe anyone would take her seriously and had self-confidence issues because of it. By today's standard, she was somewhere around a size 2 or 4 (not the 12 or 14 people believe) and she was still self-conscious and depressed.
There are so many things we want out of life. Beauty and perfection are two of them. #relationshipgoals. #hairgoals, #lifegoals. Guess what? Those "goals" probably won't happen and you'll just disappoint yourself trying. What you end up with will more than likely actually make you happier.
I'm lucky enough to be dating a guy that makes me enjoy grocery shopping in a busy WalMart and feel pretty in sweatpants. A guy we know has seen us and called us his "2016 relationship goal." While flattering, it's a little uncomfortable for me because no two relationships are the same and I don't want someone to aim for the same thing as us. What I have with my boyfriend made no sense to the girl I used to live with. She'll probably never have what I do because she needs a different type of person. We all need someone different.
Pinterest, while addictive and helpful, is a beauty trap. There's a whole section devoted to how to find the best makeup, slim down every part of your body, buy stylish clothing, DIY skin scrubs and "natural" tanning methods. Why not just be yourself because you are AWESOME the way you are? Bruno Mars nailed it. Do it for yourself because you want it, not to feel like you fit in. And if you need a pick-me-up, listen to P!nk's "F***in' Perfect" because she gets it.
And guys. Oh, guys. Emotion is actually okay. You don't have to bury everything. Some girls need to take this advice, too, because we're not all hormonal messes, all the time. Personally, I detest crying. You don't have to show everything all the time and it doesn't have to be overbearing but show that you're human and have feelings too. It's nice to know on occasion. Society has rough standards for y'all, too, and I'm not sure how many other people see it that way. You can speak up for yourselves, it's not sexist to say you're just as objectified as women.
The thing about perfection is that it's in perception. I used to go out with a blonde friend and every guy noticed her before me so I used to think guys are just more attracted to blonde girls (struggles of the south). Suddenly I find myself wishing I was blonde with straight hair so I'd be noticed and that's not how it works. I am a curly haired brunette and I want to smack myself when I go down that road because I love my hair. I'm not going to change my hair, or anything else, to impress a guy I'm never going to see again. When it comes down to it, all he sees is what's in front of him not what's inside and that's what really draws the right people.
We should all keep that in mind because no one else is worth it. If they want you to change anything about yourself that you don't want to do (like saying you'd look better with different hair or clothing), you don't need them in your life. All they will do is bring you down and hurt you in ways no one else can see.
Don't let someone force you into a box. The only box I support being put in is bigger on the inside and the bluest blue you have ever seen. And if you find that box, I expect you to call me because I want in.
Beauty isn't real. The cake is a lie. Kim Kardashian does, in fact, wear makeup to look like that. I will continue wearing the shirt that says "There's no way you woke up like that" because it just isn't possible but good luck trying. In the end, what really matters is this: Are you happy?
