"Heroin spread that soft blanket over everything. But once the blanket was ripped off, it took a layer of skin with it, leaving nothing but nerve ends screaming in the breeze."
I found it funny when we were in school the health teacher would talk about heroin and how it was extremely bad to use, and everyone around you said " I would never use that. Not me." Years later down the road that same kid or kids who said that are now the ones on the news because they were found in their parents basement overdosed on heroin. I always use to tell myself that I would never associate with anyone who used heroin ever. What I didn't know at the time though, was sometimes even the ones you are closest too were fighting their own battles behind closed doors. Then I saw it happen with my own eyes. This is my story:
She was beautiful. Everything about her was just simply beautiful. She was one of those girls that everyone wished they could be like. She had all the latest phones that came out, every brand name purse you could think of, and a house only one would dream to live in. She was everything I wanted to be. Somewhere down the road though she became less and less beautiful day by day. Her face changed. Everything that made her who she was, was gone. You ask why? She made a best friend.
No one knew about her new friend in the beginning, she never told anyone about him. She hid him in the closet in her bathroom. She hid him behind her bed. She hid him anywhere she thought that no one would look. What she never knew was that eventually people would begin noticing what he was doing to her. The constant changes he was going to put her through. The people he would make her push away, and the constant mistakes he'd make her make because he was in control. He was toxic, She knew that though.
A year into her seeing him is when I found out. I should've known. Signs were obvious. I just didn't want to believe that someone so close to me would be doing that with him. Him. If you're wondering his name, it's Heroin. I'd like to refer to him as death, or the devil. She was in hell and she knew it. He had consumed all of her and there was no way he was spitting her out. They were best friends though. They hangout everyday. He made her happy and who was I was to judge her for being with him. He made her happy.
It really never hits you until the person is gone. I watched as she tried to kick him out of her life. I watched as he destroyed her life more and more everyday. It was towards the end that she she fought harder than she ever had. She tried so hard to get her life back along with all the people she pushed out of it. We all tried to help. He fought back. Hard. He won. She lost. We all lost. We lost her.
If you have never met or have been close to anyone who's had a heroin addiction be thankful. You do not understand the pain it puts you through to see them become a new person everyday. You do not know what it feels like to wake up one day not knowing who that person is anymore. You'll never understand what it feels like to try and get them help, but when all the help in the world doesn't help you're literally useless. Knowing there's not much you can do but sit back and pray that one day they will open their eyes and see not only what they are doing to themselves, but also what they are doing to everyone around them. It's heartbreaking. You'll never understand what it was they were trying to escape from. I think that's the hardest thing to accept, that you just will not ever understand, no matter how clear the answers are.
To anyone who has lost a loved one to heroin my heart goes out to all. Also to anyone battling addiction or knows anyone battling addiction please seek help before it's too late. You're not alone in this fight. I promise.
