If you ask most people what their favorite season is, most of them will probably be quick to say summer. What's not to love? Why enjoy a crisp autumn breeze when you could get sun poisoning? Why choose a warm seat by the fire over getting stung by a jellyfish at the beach? Summer is obviously the best month ever, and definitely not the most disgusting or annoying.
I mean, it's hot enough to melt your face off. Who doesn't love sweat stains under your armpits or you entire face of makeup sweating off after being outside for less than five minutes? It's great! Having your thighs burning against your car's leather seats is the best part of mid-afternoon on a hot summer day, or maybe the dehydration. It's hard to pick. Another personal favorite of mine is that there's bugs everywhere! Ah, bugs. Flies, bees, wasps, ants, caterpillars and my personal favorite, mosquitoes. I absolutely love it when it finally gets warm enough for these little critters to crawl out from hell where they belong. I love being constantly itchy and covered in bright red mosquito bites. First one to get the Zika virus wins!
Who wants to wear cute and comfy leggings, cardigans and sweater dresses when you could wear tank tops that allow for nip slips, shorts that are way too uncomfortable and hats to cover up your sweaty mess of a hair that you know there was no point in washing today because after 30 seconds of being outside it was going to look like you had just run a half-marathon at the gym.
Dates during the summer are the absolute best! It's nice out, so why not a picnic by the lake? Sounds romantic, right? What could be more romantic than getting attacked by a swarm of geese trying to eat your food while you're busy swatting off all of the mosquitoes buzzing around your sweaty foreheads? Once you're past that, maybe this guy wants to make a move right? Nothing's hotter than reaching for a leg full of thigh sweat or trying to plant a kiss on a girl whose face is nice and wet and salty. Yum.
Another fun little thing that I enjoy doing during the summer is carrying around Kleenex and paper towels so that I can dab off all of the sweat that beads up in my eyebrows and on my upper lip. I just love how no amount of deodorant can actually keep your pits from sweating! It's incredible! I also love how I have to ditch my perfume for bug spray during the summer. Why would I want to smell like sweet vanilla or a flowery garden when I could just smell like ass? Your guess is as good as mine.
Yeah, summer is the best.
