This week I had to romantically let go of someone that means the absolute world to me. The person I want to kiss and hug. I don't think either of us wanted to let go, but I think we both knew that right now we need to figure ourselves out. We need to have fun and experience life. I don't know if it's just me, but letting go of the person you love is one of the hardest things you have to do. (I know I probably sound so dramatic because I'm only 21.) But the bottom line is that I am trying to come to terms with this. So, here is my letter to you because I want us to remember our love for each other and all the fun times together -- not the sadness and pain I know we are both feeling right now.
To you, my best friend, my headache and my smile:
Remember when we first started dating and we told each other that we were the best thing to ever happen to each other? Yeah, I remember that, and I couldn't feel like it was truer in that moment. Everything that you have done for me will stay with me forever. You helped me get through so much, you stood by me even when it was so hard, and most importantly, you loved me when I least deserved it. I know that our relationship has grown so much in the past year and a half. We have also grown as individuals as well.
I remember all of the fun times that we had together. Like how we used to go to the baseball field and sit on top of the dugout and just talk about everything under the moon (literally). Remember when we used to get ice cream every weekend during the summer? Remember how whenever we went out to eat, it never failed that I would spill something on my shirt and you would always make fun of me? Oh my gosh!! Remember how you taught me how to hit at the batting cages? I remember that is when we weren't doing good in our relationship, but that night we just had pure fun. There was no emotion involved. Just two people who liked spending time together. Remember when we watched "Grey's Anatomy" together? Remember the first time we had a heart-to-heart? It was so late at night, but I remember wanting that moment to never end. Remember when we had movie nights? Remember that time I made you that really watery pasta that spilled all over your shirt and you still ate it? Remember when you first told me you loved me? Remember when you got me roses for the first time? Remember that talk we had over the summer at Carl's, when you told me that you wanted to be with me again and you were happy that I never left? Remember the first night we ever cuddled? Remember our first fight? And please remember how happy we made each other.
I know that our relationship wasn't always easy, but I hope you never doubt that it was and always will be worth it. I would like to think that things aren't over and that we will find our way back to each other somehow. That is how we will know it's meant to be. Now, if you know me like I know you know me, you knew this letter to you was coming. So please, if there is one thing that I want you to know, it's that you're my best friend and I love you. I support you always and I will always be here for you.
I don't want you to think this is a goodbye or anything like that. It was just supposed to make you think about all the happy things we have experienced together. I know we have experienced a lot more than what I wrote, but I know that's a start.
Again, I love you, and you can always borrow my Carmex.
