As I sit here, trying to come up with words and ways to express myself on such a heavy topic, I know this will probably be my most open article yet. Something many people have written about, but written from my perspective, with my own experiences. My faults, and my struggles. I'm going to make it known that I've not always been, nor do I claim to be, the most perfect adviser. I am, however, also going to tell you how I've grown to learn about some things and inform you on ways that you can help others in need.
So I begin.
Depression. A battle in the mind that can eat a person from the inside out. Something that over 350 million people of all ages suffer from. It's a monster that some people never truly seem to understand.
The reason why I am writing about this, is because in my state recently, a girl tragically took her own life because the people closest to her didn't step up to the plate and see what she needed. At least, that was what was perceived from many posts she had made. I don't know what truly went on in her life, but I do know that she needed help but wasn't getting it in the way that she really needed it.
Approximately 1 million people commit suicide each year. Roughly 3,000 people a day. While that doesn't seem like many to some, it truly is. People lose their loved ones, their best friends, their soulmates, because the person didn't feel like they needed to be on Earth any longer. Because they felt like it was their time to go and they had no chance of ever feeling any differently. For each that take their lives, at least 20 attempt to do so. That is a huge deal.
In the past, I was the type of person who didn't really understand or go into depth to try to understand the harsh lives that some people live. In other words, I sucked at giving advice. I was also a bit of an attention seeker and liked to make my problems (if there were any at all) seem bigger. This was brought to my attention after I lost someone who meant a great deal to me due to my own stupidity and lack of understanding in how to give advice, even if I didn't know what it was like to go through what that person was going through.
My excuse was always, "I don't know what to tell you."
Doesn't seem very helpful, does it?
After I realized how wrong I had been for not at least trying to be there and give the best advice that I could give, I worked on myself and my attitude. I lessened my need for attention and strengthened other aspects of my mind. I didn't want to lose another person because of my actions, or lack there of.
I've learned how to help others, and how to ask for help, not just demand it.
If someone you love tries to open up to you about the things they are going through, do NOT ignore them. They need you to listen to them. Don't think it's something silly that they'll just get over, even if that turns out to be the case. Some people really do need guidance. Some just need to know they're loved.
Let them tell you everything and listen with an open and clear mind. As they speak, try to think of ways to help them out. Try to think of things they can do to help themselves, as well. Chances are, though, if they're coming to you, they are willing to do anything and everything there is to get better.
Love them. Just show them the love and compassion that they need, because they may not be getting enough of it.
Push them in the right direction. Some people just need a little extra push and some motivation to do things. Be their motivator. They will never forget the things you did for them when they needed you.
Just be there. Do whatever you can. If you truly love someone, you don't want to hear that that they're going through something so terrible. Devote a little bit of time to them. I guarantee, they will always remember you for it.
So some wise words for you AND for me; treat people the way you would want to be treated if you were in their shoes.
Small things can go a long way.
