Anxiety has been a problem throughout my life that I, and many of my friends and family have dealt with. I’ve acted as a support unit to any of the people in my life who needed it, and I also had to reach out for help. Over time, I began to understand what helps people with anxiety the most when they start to feel it take control. I say take control because that’s what it feels like. Your mind starts circulating irrational thoughts, that you may know are untrue, but you still worry and center your attention on them. This is usually the beginnings of it, then some can experience physical symptoms like nausea, dizziness, or tightness in their chest. It varies from person to person, but many feel helpless and trapped. They may not even know why they are feeling the way they are, and that is when they need help.
I can usually sense when one of my friends is experiencing anxiety. It causes them to become more reserved since they are distracted with thinking about everything going on in their head; and they also seem to look pained or worried. If I’m texting them, they might even tell me that they feel upset or worried and they don’t know why. When a friend says this, you can’t just reply with “it’s okay” or “you’re fine” because their mind is completely freaked out, and if you tell them they are okay, they may feel misunderstood or like they're overreacting. A lot of times it may seem like they are overreacting, but believe me, they don’t mean to be. Their thoughts are going a million miles a minute and there is a feeling in the back of their head that is of fear and anxiety. It feels like there’s nothing to hold onto, and it could spiral into a panic attack.
What I do in these situations is open up the floor. I tell them to tell me everything that’s on their mind that they are worried about. Venting it and getting it out of their brain can help them to start to feel relieved. Then you can talk to them about solutions. You can sympathize, and offer help. Calming them down can be a challenge, but it can be done. Think about what they usually do as a person to relax and suggest it. Tell them to go to the gym, take a walk, listen to music, or try deep breathing, for example. Be sure to use a very calm, reasoned tone. If you respond with short answers, they may think they did something to offend you, and their anxiety could worsen.
Once they decide on something to do, you can offer to stay with your phone close to you for them to reach you with if they feel upset again while doing their activity. When you have anxiety, and you know that you’re not alone because someone is there, it can make a large difference. If they live close enough, you could even offer to go over to their house, or go participate in the activity with them.
The same rules apply to talking to them in person. The only big differences are physical responses. You can give them a hug and rub their back to help relax them, or, you could give them a tennis ball to bounce against the wall. One of my friends gave me a ball and it helped to get the seemingly restless energy out of my mind.
There are so many solutions to help someone who is going through anxiety, and you can be the one who is there. If your friend, family member, or significant other knows they have someone to talk to and help them when they need it when it gets rough, they will feel much better. Then, if you have it, they could help you.
If you’re someone with anxiety, know you’re not alone -- and there can always be a solution found for you no matter what it is. If you’re someone who helps comfort people with anxiety, thank you; your help is extremely appreciated.
