I remember the day of my high school graduation. It could arguably be one of the happiest days of my life (aside from the day I got accepted to USC). I honestly had never been so happy to get out of my town, my school, and the same small realm I had lived in for 18 years. London, Los Angeles, and USC were all on my horizon in the near future, and it seemed like time wasn't moving fast enough for me to get where I wanted to be.
Fast-forward two years, and here I am at the end of my sophomore year. Amazingly, I'm already freaking out about graduating. I mean, all my senior friends are starting to worry, wonder, and get excited for the big change ... but I'm still a baby in the university world. Why am I already having such anxiety about a change that is relatively far off?
College has been one of the highest points of my life so far. Until USC, I hadn't felt like I really ever belonged anywhere. My high school was a nightmare of an experience and was a place I never felt comfortable being myself in. I lived in an oppressively small world with only about 150 other girls each day. I dreamed of bigger things than that, and USC gave them to me.
Since then, I've completely blossomed in college. Academically, socially, and personally, I truly think I've found the place I am supposed to be.
Which is why now I'm beginning to have the existential crisis of graduation ... even though it's two years away!
I think there's something so important about this time in our lives. Self-discovery is inevitable and mistakes are encouraged, and it creates this beautiful evolution of the human experience. There's something about being here, right now, that makes me realize that life is so worth living. Not because of parties or boys or anything like that, but because finding out who you truly are on your own is something no one can ever take away from you.
I know it seems silly to worry about things like graduation when they are 1. so far away, and 2. inevitable in any case, but I think it's logical that no matter where you are in the order or college, graduation seems like a scary day looming in the distance.
I know that this journey will have to end eventually -- something I will be nervous about till it happens -- but I will continue to enjoy and take advantage of every moment I have until then at this place that is my new home.