"Yeah, and losing them wouldn't be so hard to take, If heaven wasn't so far away," - Justin Moore

Whenever you lose someone, there are so many times you wish you could pick up the phone just to tell them about your day or just see them face-to-face to give them the biggest hug imaginable. You might find yourself standing at your loved one's grave talking to them and just wishing that they could talk back. Some may believe that in those moments, our loved ones can hear us talking to them, and I believe that to be true. The words spoken at my father's grave, to my father in my mind or even out loud, I know he can hear me and I know that he is always with me. Though my father isn't here with me physically for many of my life's moments and decisions, I know he is with me in the day-to-day moments and I am thankful for that. There are not enough words to say how much I miss and love you, Daddy. I have been a daddy's girl since birth and I will forever be that way. I wish you were able to experience physically every moment since you've passed, and while I know that you are watching over your baby girl, having you here physically would be much better. I know that I share words with you while visiting your burial place back home, but today there are some things I want to share with you.

Thank you for everything you did for me and for always being there for me (even though that still applies now). For as far back as I can remember, you were there for every soccer game, dance recital, chorus/orchestra recital and assembly imaginable supporting me in my various endeavors. Even when you had reached the point where sitting for that long was uncomfortable, I could still always see you standing in the back of the auditorium with the biggest smile on your face. You were there for me always, even when it didn't apply to school or hobby related events. Whenever I just needed help or needed someone to lean on, you were always there. If I had a bad day or week, you were always ready to listen and were always there to give me the most loving support that I could ask for. Even though you may not be here physically anymore, I know you still give me that support everyday.

Please know that for every life event, whether it be a graduation, a birth, a wedding or even a holiday, we know that you are there. Since your passing, there are have been various life events that have occurred: my high school graduation, Andrew's wedding, the birth of your grandson, birthdays and holidays. However, I know that you have been with us in these moments, celebrating, smiling and just beaming with pride. As weird as this may sound, I may not have been able to see you, but I can feel that you're there. It's unexplainable, but I just know that you wouldn't miss any of those moments. I remember one time after John's, my oldest brother, wedding, you told me that no matter what you were going to be at my wedding. I hold that so close to my heart because I know it's very true. You wouldn't miss that day, and I already know that I will incorporate you into my wedding in as many aspects as I can, like sewing a piece of your shirt into my dress, having your picture and hat on a chair and just other components also. I know that you'll be there walking me down the aisle and dancing alongside me.

Thank you for those moments where you could bring a smile to my face when I was upset or angry. I cherish the times where you would look at me, smile and say "Where is that smile? Ah, there it is behind your ear. I can see it!" Though I may have been angry, sad, crying or just in a bad mood, that always seemed to perk me right up. As much as I didn't like it as a kid (because I was stubborn and just wanted to sulk in my feelings), I would do anything to have you say those words to me again when I am overwhelmed or upset. People have tried to replicate this part of you that I loved so much and it's never been same. Sometimes in my upset or angry moments, all I need is my Daddy.

Also know that I remember all of out last moments together and that in your last moments, I knew how much you loved me. It's somewhat odd to me that the scariest event in my life has become an event that I can recall so easily and that I can cherish just as much, if not more, than the 17 years that I had with you. One specific memory always sticks out in my mind because it was so raw and I could see how much you loved your baby girl. I have never really seen you cry, except for maybe once or twice at a wedding, but whenever I walked into your room in the hospital after they had switched you into a new room, the minute you saw me, you started to cry. I balled my eyes out because I know that even though you couldn't really talk, you were saying so much to me in that moment. You were scared just as I was and you weren't ready to leave us. I was scared of what life would be like without you and I just wanted more time with you. I'd always been wrapped around your finger, and we weren't ready to let go of that. But, in that moment, an outsider could see how deeply our bond was and how much we loved each other.

Thank you for watching countless chick flicks with me. What A Girl Wants was our favorite movie by far; however, we did also watch A League of Their Own. At the time, I didn't realize why you loved What A Girl Wants so much and why it was so special to us. Sure, its a great movie with some humor in it, but it tells the story of a father and daughter who have been brought back together. It shows how their relationship grows despite the time and distance they've been apart. I think that's why you loved it so much because in the end, it was about the strength and uniqueness of a father-daughter relationship. Ours was very strong, loving, caring, goofy, supportive and just unique in so many ways. What I wouldn't give to have you take two hours out of your day to watch that movie with me one more time. Whenever that movie is on, I have to watch since it was so special to us and sometimes I just have to pop it in to relive those memories we had together while watching the movie.

While there are so many other things that I want and could say to you, these are just some of the things that I wanted to say. No matter how many days, months or years it's been since your passing, it's still hard day-to-day and it's never going to be the same. I know that things happen for a reason and for reasons I may never understand, God wanted to bring you home no matter how much we wanted you to stay. Please know that I will always be your little girl and that I will miss you forever. I know that I will see you again, and I just hope that I can make you proud each day of my life.