"When we speak of equality, of women and men, of Blacks and Whites, of all the world's people, we are talking about humanism."

~Gloria Steinem

Where Does Anyone Get Their Morals From?

I have read so many books about humanism, secularism, counter-apologetics and psychology that I often forget that others aren't up to speed on all there is to know about the large minority of "nones" (Those who would answer "none" as their religious affiliation on a survey ~ Aka: non-religious people). So, let me tackle a question that a lot of people genuinely have: If you don't believe in a god or follow a religion, then where do you get your morals from? How do you know what is right or wrong?

When this question crops up, many non-religious people have the following reaction:

Non-religious people get very annoyed by this question because it is a harmful stereotype that non-religious people lack morals and, as a stereotype, it is thrown in non-religious people's face all the time. This tends to make them very angry and so they tend to snap back at people.

However, being angry and rude in the face of such questions not only contributes to the "angry atheist" stereotype, but it also doesn't answer the usually honest question that many people have. So, here I will answer this question without getting upset (although, I might get on a bit of a rant).

For both people, those being asked and those asking, there is something to be learned. To those asking, remember to be sensitive to the person you are asking. They get this question all the time and they may not have the best answer when asked on the spot (they may be tired, busy, or simply never thought about it much). The person being asked is only one person of a very large minority, so be sure to ask more people than just that one person. Don't take this one person to be a representative for the entire group of non-theists - that's just plain unfair!

To the person being asked: remember to be patient. The person you are talking to may never have met an openly non-religious person and although they may seem antagonizing, this is probably a genuine question that they have. Like it or not, you are going to be their representative of what a non-religious person is like - give the non-religious a good name. Be polite and remember your morals.

Fifty Shades of Grey

Obviously, like everything, the answer isn't black and white. There are many many people that are at various degrees of knowledge of morality or various intensities of religiosity (if someone who identifies as non-religious that doesn't automatically mean that they identify as atheist, they could be deists, agnostics, spiritual, etc.). This means that the question is, to some extent, not just applicable to the non-religious. So first we can tackle the more general question of:

From where does anyone get their morality?

Here I can refer to Michael Shermer in his book, "Why People Believe Weird Things":

"Most of us most of the time come to our beliefs for a variety of reasons having little to do with empirical evidence and logical reasoning. Rather, such variables as genetic predispositions, parental predilections, sibling influences, peer pressures, educational experiences, and life impressions all shape the personality preferences and emotional inclinations that, in conjunction with numerous social and cultural influences, lead us to make certain belief choices. Rarely do any of us sit down and before a table of facts, weigh them pro and con, and choose the most logical and rational belief, regardless of what we previously believed. Instead, the facts of the world come to us through the colored filters of the theories, hypotheses, hunches, biases, and prejudices we have accumulated through our lifetime. We then sort and ignore or rationalize away those that are dis-confirming. All of us do this, of course, but smart people are better at it."

That's a lot to take in, so let's break it down. This quote says that whether you are Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, atheist, or whatever, your beliefs and values come more from a multitude of areas and not just from the religion you follow. Your moral position on torrenting is not something that you probably grabbed straight from the Torah but instead is more likely built on some of the things mentioned above (peer pressures, life impressions, parental predilections, etc.).

However, that isn't to say that some people don't sit down and actively curb their moral ideals by taking a long hard look at them and deciding - through some thought processes - what is more correct. There are some who study their religious texts and come to conclusions about what is right and wrong. Others use various ethical theories and practices (such as Kantian Ethics, or Utilitarianism, etc.). The key to the above quote, though, is that most people come to their morals more through experience rather than abstract theories and empirical evidence. Usually, only after the fact do people justify their moral standings with some religious text or ethical theory. Yeah, yeah, but where do you get your morals from?

So let's come back to the original question:

If you don't believe in a god or follow a religion, then where do you get your morals from? How do you know what is right or wrong?

I'll answer this for my own personal position, but I encourage you to turn the question back on yourself. As I've discussed so far, I've gotten my morals from my experiences. To explain which experiences gave me every one of my moral positions would take several books, so I won't torture you. What I can tell you is where I have ended up thus far.

In general, I have found that I identify best with being a Secular Humanist. Those are two big words that very few people actually understand (or care to understand) the meaning of. First and foremost, "Secular" means the absence of religion. That means that my morals aren't referencing religious texts or pulling from religious ideology - at least not directly. The second word is Humanist. Humanism can mean different things to different humanists. In fact, you don't have to be irreligious to be a humanist.

For me, though, Humanism is recognizing that humans have intrinsic value. Humanism recognizes that we should constantly put ourselves in each other's shoes and understand the problems that others are facing. It means that we should avoid us-them thinking. It means avoiding dehumanizing others (see a really good book titled Becoming Evil by James E. Waller for further information on these things and human nature in general). It means that we shouldn't generalize and we should recognize that our actions - every action - affect someone else and that we have to consider that before saying something, doing something, and especially before supporting or making political policies.

For me, there are two things that are integral to humanism (and giving humans intrinsic value). The first is giving humans credit where credit is due and the second is taking action for humans. I am deeply bothered when people write off the work of humans as the work of the supernatural. My father, for example, survived stage 4 colon cancer. Some might say that he is blessed by God and that God is good for saving my father's life. For me, that is abhorrently disrespectful to the talented surgeon who spent hundreds of thousands of dollars and thousands of hours going to school and practicing to learn about the human body and about cancer so that he could one day perform that surgery on my father and cure him of his cancer. For me, humanism is recognizing the goodness of that surgeon and understanding the hard work he puts into his job.

The other important part of Humanism, for me, is taking action. When people are the targets of discrimination because of their sexual orientation, their skin color, their race, their gender, their religious identity, or whatever differences there may be between people, they don't need thoughts and prayers. They need action. They need help. Someone in the hospital doesn't need your thoughts and prayers. They need you to go visit them and show them that you are there for them. They need you to watch their dog or take their child to soccer practice. They don't need you to wish well for them and then do nothing further. If someone is the target of racial discrimination, they don't need you to be on your knees. They need you on your feet so that you can lobby your lawmakers, or to participate in protests. So, to me, Humanism is a moral stance of action and recognition.

If you feel like you must also pray and think positively, that's fine. That's the beauty of humanism - you don't have to be non-religious to be humanist. Often times, Humanist values overlap with many other religions' values. For example, in the Bible in James 2:26 (NIV) it says, "As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds dead." So the value of taking action is important in both the Christian faith and in Humanism.

However, Secular Humanism is, by definition, not something that a religious person can follow. A religious person, on the other hand, might be a Christian Humanist or a Buddhist-Humanist, etc. Humanism, in general, is inclusive and can act to join rather than divide due to its common values among subgroups and religions.

Of course, as with basically any ethical theory or moral stance, there are shortcomings in Humanism. For example, Humanism inherently neglects Environmentalism which states (in a very quick run down) that the environment, animals, plants, and the ecosystem have intrinsic value and that you should respect the environment just as you would respect other humans. This means supporting the humane slaughtering of animals, making policies to reduce pollution, not using GMO's, and many other things.

However, you can - and do - get your ethics from many places. So, just because I am a Secular Humanist doesn't mean that I'm not also an Environmentalist (Which I am - or at least I am becoming so).

Throughout my articles, I will try to show you hints of what decisions Secular Humanists might make and what values might be guiding those with such a belief. But now on to you as the reader:

My Morals? What about them?

I'm guessing that you weren't expecting such a long winded answer, so for that I'm sorry. Some things just aren't that simple. Even what I have told you is incredibly simplified, but that's good. That means that there is more for us all to learn about life, and each other. So, I have a challenge for you: Ask yourself where you get your morals from. I don't care if you are religious or not, it is still applicable.

One of the most difficult things to realize is that every action you take is a moral action. There are moral situations all around you in even the most mundane things. If you think that the answer to where you get your morals is "The *Insert religious text here*" then you are sadly mistaken. Even buying a coffee from Starbucks is an ethical decision - just ask any environmentalist about how buying that coffee creates demand for the paper that cup was made of causing more deforesting, and creating demand for the coffee that may have been harvest by workers in hazardous conditions, etc.

So, please, go and research more about morals, philosophy, secularism and secular life, and about religions and their practices and history. It can not only be interesting, but also make you go, "Hmm, I'd never thought about that". Which is really really good - take it from me, a heathen with morals!

Stay skeptical my friends!